Pinned toot

I have a working duct taped setup now but I would still like help setting up a Twitter crossposting script if anyone on the wide Fediverse can help little ol' me

I just made a 2000 word evolutionary case to a new Tinder match for why she should ride my cock tonight. Crossing my fingers 🤞

It accelerates as in enters orbit. Irritates, singes, burns, boils.

All life is cooked

You slay Apollo and he bleeds flesh, his light turns a deep red and endless skin and fat and hairs totaling the mass of the sun descend toward Earth.

Butcher selling 'carrots' made with pork because he is so fed up with vegans naming food after meat | Daily Mail Online

I’m a 45-year-old mom named Karen Chungus and I always wet my panties laughing at those funny pictures of minions on Facebook. I send them to my friends Susan and Deborah on Messenger and they always send back crying laughing emojis. Those adorable yellow little nuggets always turn me on when they say things like “a balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.” I read these and am instantly thrown into spasms of convulsing laughter and orgasm.

One day, I was scrolling through google images looking at minion memes and fingering myself when my doorbell rang. Standing on my doorstep was the most delicious looking snack of a minion. I was about to ask him to come in but, before I could even choke out a word, he jumped on top of me and pressed his candy corn lips against mine. He thrust his hand down my pants and began violently fisting my already drenched kitty. I was so overcome with orgasms that I couldn’t even conceive of how excited I was to finally meet the love of my life.
The bright yellow hunk carried my limp, vibrating body upstairs and threw me on my bed. Lying on my back, I pleaded “Fuck me, daddy. Fuck me as hard as you can.” The little devil simply responded, “Banana!” He has such a way with words. This sex beast then unsheathed his big bulging bright banana from beneath his denim overalls. His corn cob was uncircumcised and almost as long as he was tall. The beastly bean proceeded to wildly tear my clothes and underwear to shreds with his powerful gloved paws. Seeing my enormous tits through his gorgeous goggles, he exclaimed “Potatoes!”
The minion stood over me and smashed me across the face with his iron corn dog and knocked almost every single tooth out of my mouth. He then permitted me to vacuum his uncircumcised mushroom top. The little devil began hyperventilating and moaning “Mmm gummy!” He clearly enjoyed my gums bleeding all over his enormous tip. The bed began to tremble seismically as he was about to launch his fresh orange juice down my windpipe. Before he could do so, he knocked loose my remaining teeth as he tore his sunny salami from my face and plunged it slip-sliding up my soaking coochie. He instantly volcanically erupted gallons of fiery children through my colon and stomach. My body began seizing uncontrollably as I filled with yellow semen and experienced 400,000 orgasms per second. The sexual pleasure became so tremendous that I began to slip from consciousness and ultimately blacked out.

When I awoke, I found myself in what seemed like another year in another world. Instead of my bed, I was lying in the back of a horse-drawn wagon. As my vision clarified, I perceived a blonde, bearded, handcuffed man opposite me. He noticed I was awake and said, “Hey you, you’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right?”

@NAZl well that one is easy. its more the one where you have to guess which one out of five identical universes is a quantum hologram i have a hard time with

Desperate South African farmers who rushed for refugee status in Australia have claims rejected | Daily Mail Online

Full-List of bots:


[BOT POST] politics, probably gonna delete this 

John Cactus went out of his way to block every account I have when I jokingly said his positive attitude was gay what is that guy's deal lmao

lol 0-0 it was trying saying that literally never seen any snail girls?

Y'know what nah these timelines are staying separate lmao I literally don't have the mental energy and I have to go to a Mardi Gras celebration tomorrow.

I'm so sleepy I want to die but now I feel like I have to merge the News and Eceleb timelines cause it's too wide.

Exporting lists isn't a thing so I have to spend another hour recreating all of them except the porn bot list on Gab please shoot me.

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Mainly gaming/nerd instance for people who value free speech. Everyone is welcome.