Been having a bit of a crisis over my name lately
I hate my legal name. I used to consider myself trans and eventually chose a name I liked much better. Eventually I decided not to transition and began to question whether or not I was trans, which threw a wrench into the whole name thing. Still not entirely clear on where exactly I fall, but, I'm stuck between the masculine legal name I hate, and the effeminate name I wanted which I no longer feel fits me despite how much I love it. I've got no idea where to even go from here.
There have been a few times people have called me "Alex", my OC's name, because they think that's my name too. I like that name but it feels weird to start using that as "my" name. I know people with most other names I like, and I'd feel uncomfortable using their names.
Feels almost like I'm doing things in the wrong order, trying to decide on a name before I'm even 100% sure what I even consider myself anymore. I feel so out of touch with everything about myself. I can't even feel comfortable with my own name. Everything just feels so wrong. I hate this feeling.