Notice how it's "rape" if a woman is drunk, but all women admit that they NEED alcohol to be comfortable with sex, and prefer being drunk to have sex. Rape involves coercion, manipulation, deception, or force. Having consensual sex while drunk on substances ONE TOOK THEMSELVES (as opposed to being drugged against knowledge or will) is NOT and it will NEVER BE "rape", it will be a bad decision at worst, so long as no force, manipulation or deception took place.
jazzy im sorry but if all women youve talked to need to have alchohol to be comfortable wtih sex then you need to reevaluate
@kallisti EVERY SINGLE WOMAN, EVERY SINGLE WOMAN, GIGGLES AND SAYS HOW SEX IS WAY, WAY FUNNER DRUNK, THEY GET DRUNK, THEY HAVE SEX, CALLING THAT RAPE
A) MINIMIZES REAL RAPE
B) IMPLIES WOMEN CAN'T HAVE A DRINK AND HAVE SEX AND HAVE PREFERENCES WITHOUT BEING A TRAUMATIZED LITTLE VICTIM (MEN FACE NO SUCH LABELING)
@kallisti Ok so I didn't mean what you call drunk, that's what I call wasted, or smashed, or fucked. We're talking about the same thing, being tipsy. And take it up with the chicks they're the ones who speak in absolute terms, they joke, but they say "I hate sober sex" so how else am I supposed to take that? They HATE sober sex. And it's not with ME. This has nothing to do with me. I rarely smash drunk because I don't drink and so neither would my date (we smoke instead.). But these are things I'd hear women say when I was a child, I'd overhear shit, them talking amongst themselves. So it's not like I'm some chud or something.
@kallisti *I don't drink often, I tried drinking to help with pain last year but it didn't help much so I never got more after running out
when i say drunk, i tend to alternate between wasted and tipsy. drunk wasted is the common terminology in the consent workshops though
@kallisti Or course I was being overgeneral to make a dry point, that point being that society has made having fun incredibly hard and puts shame on people who've never done anything wrong because it's too gutless to handle violent rapists in a public manner. So since there is never any justice, people are terrified, and well meaning people then go on to say shit like "all drunk sex is rape", making the women who feel comfortable drinking and having sex ashamed, it's abuse, psychological social abuse. All because, since society is too weak to publicly torture true, violent rapists, no catharsis is ever reached by true victims, and nobody feels any sense of justice, everyone feels unsafe, uncared for, and they are fearful of being mis-labeled as victims or rapists for having consensual encounters.
Also, someone saying "I like drunk sex, and want to have drunk sex with you" while sober IS valid consent. Intox play, while not a common form of kink/bdsm IS a legitimate form of sexual activity and so long as it's discussed and ground rules are set, there is genuinely no issue with it. I know people who get off on someone they know and trust drugging them unconscious and using them while they're passed out. It's talked about, limits are set, and when it's all over they're generally glad it happened. One has her partner record it on her phone so she can watch it later and masturbate to it. When they're not glad it happens, then you effectively do a postmortem. What went wrong, why did it go wrong, are there steps you can take to prevent that wrong thing from happening in the future.
Men absolutely can and are raped while drunk, even in heterosexual situations. I know someone who woke up while drunk and crashing on a bed at a party to a woman blowing him til he was hard, then having sex with him despite him verbally saying to stop. It fucked him up, and when he tried to talk about it with that circle of friends he was brushed off and people didn't label that woman "a fucking rapist who we should cut ties with"
The conversations society has as a whole around consent and rape are absolute garbage, so limited in scope while being so dogmatic that it leaves vast swaths of people misinformed and/or without support systems to help them deal with things that are absolutely violations of consent. Media is a huge part of this issue. Men being assaulted or abused by women is a persistent trope in comedy. The absolute pinacle of trash there is the comedy My Super Ex Girlfriend where the premise is a guy breaking up with a woman superhero and her stalking and abusing him throughout the movie. That's the movie.
Being involved in pretty libertine sexual circles has taught me more than any sex ed class or online learning resource.
also drunk != tipsy