talking to suicidal people makes me feel off... there's a large chunk of good natured people who just make the wrong assumptions of how the world works, putting the blame on themselves, trusting that in their absence the world would be better. however, wouldn't being aware of your wrongdoings give you the ability to improve? why not challenge your "bad willed nature"? it's a genuine bummer to me. i was talking to a person that's letting out blood over the course of days so they die of blood loss eventually. they haven't realized their illogic choice. they're genuinely a good person. it saddens me so much. i've talked to them, yet they don't listen to what i say. tbey just persist on what they believe in.
on another note, while from time to time i do experience suicidal thoughts, it's more so from the standpoint that i have a lack of impact on anything, and that since i'm feeling so horrid all the time, leaving wouldn't cause much harm. when i feel better though, i look back and say that i'm here to fight such horrors and suffering, and there lies my purpose in living. i wish to live and be happy, to do good, to overcome my personal evils, and to leave a positive impact in others' lives — because while i might not be perfect or entirely a good person, i wish for the best in me to be what's more prominent, because i dislike the bad.

i hope that if you're in some sort of dark space this post finds you well. it wasn't meant to be some PSA or anything, i was just dumping my thoughts about something that had happened recently (literally minutes ago), and i guess that from there i left things worth considering. if there's any suicidal people around you try your best to help them. don't give them wishy washy reasons to stay. they know that they're not true. instead disprove their logic, for they're flawed, then actually give them a reason to stay and to love and to cherish all the good things in live.