You open the door and it's your fedi date Jazzy

You think: Omg I'm overweight and I look like a man I'm so gross nobody likes me
Jazzy: *Looks at you with big baby eyes like you're mommy*
You: OMG I CAN'T I'M TRAPPED COME IN LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU YOU'RE SO SAD AND DEPRESSED AND YOU ACTUALLY THINK IM SEXY I NEED YOU T-T