I kind of miss having my bff around but he was toxic. He was the perfect foil though. I'd say something like "corkscrew cocks that slither up inside ya" and he wouldn't be rude but he definitely wouldn't be on board. He'd say something like "that sounds like a nightmare dimension" through incredulous laughter and then we'd both be laughing...I miss those days. He and I would cuddle, and rub eachothers backs with no shirts on. But he was straight. He was a twink and he was straight. Yea right. He had an ex boyfriend who looked like hot topic threw up on his perfect twink frame but that was just a phase and he's straight. He said while I sensually embraced him around his naked middle, pressing my naked chest against his whispy back, such a delicate frame, such a sweet boy. He was actually a year older than me but his youthful appearance made him look like an ageless angel. He got addicted to heroin. Stopped making it out to hang out, my bed was empty, yea we weren't dating, but it felt like it, and hea he wasn't gay, but it felt like it...I think he was just in denial. I needed him, and he needed me, I don't know why he did it. I don't know why he thought it mattered so much. I didn't think it did, not until I saw gay after gay have a little crisis about it, and now I wonder if they've infected me with their self hatred. I just want to love again and to be loved mutually by a willing partner who I know and who knows me.