@fennec @sillybunbun honestly, even in my 30s it's a strange issue for me. like, i recognize that i'm an exclusive pedhebe sexually. pre and early pubescent bods are the only thing that my body will respond to. romantically, perhaps there's more. like, i can be romantically drawn to late teens, and transage kids. however, the fact that my sexual and romantic attraction don't line up one for one fills me with a dread.

like, i'd be an inadequate big friend cause my sexual attraction will fade as they get older, but i would still want that romantic connection. in turn, that would make any kid i'm with feel unloved, cause all my sexual energy fades with puberty. not as if i wouldn't want to do anything. like i'd def be a side who wants to give pleasure, but how my body only responds to younder kids, but not them, can't be ignored

i try to cope by telling myself that i'm a thing that's meant to be outgrown. my purpose would be like a toy that's a hand-me-down from one kid to the next, as they move on from me into adulthood. hopefully, as friends with fond memories of a land that can't be returned to

i can't say how it would be, all i have is theories