You can and should trust me enough to leave me alone with your newborn baby girl 
@Sssus Weird thing to say but I'm sure that's just dark humor!!! Byebye bby hope you have a nice day with bbysitter sussy /derp
@Jazzy_Butts Have a good day, she is in good hands!.... Now then.. *high pitched shreaks and squeals that you assume are probably tiny giggles and happy baby sounds but could be misheard as screaming baby rape sounds 
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Then let me babysit, your baby will be sound asleep by the time you return... Even if she doesnt wake up again