Is it possible to be serious on here and actually be a MAP/Pedo/whateveryouwanttocallit?
I ask this sincerely, and I really would like some "Gooner" person to help me with this, because I can't really do it on my own. I can't answer this question myself. I want to - I need to - spar with someone, knowing in the back of my mind that I am probably going to lose, but I need to have it confirmed.
Like, I jack it to the same (or mostly the same) stuff everyone here jacks it to, but I can't bring myself to post about it unless I'm basically being non-sexual. Like, it just doesn't come to me. Even before I discovered this place. I can't really type that stuff. I can't even bring myself to upload a pornographic/sexual image/video without words. I see comments on all these videos and shit on websites, and I just never got that. I would just go there, watch the video or read the hentai, jork it, and then leave.
It's like the people who download, catalogue and upload/"distribute" (to use a legal term) things. I can't really bring myself to do that, not just because I'm basically tech-illiterate and my computer is shit, but because I've never truly understood it, like, when I want porn I just go to the site etc... If the site goes down, then so be it. But others want to keep the memories for all time I guess.
But in both cases, the fact that I don't do that shouldn't mean that I oppose people doing that. In fact, I would now argue that it's their "right" to do that! They can do that, and I can't stop them even if I wanted to.
It's just, for so long I was thinking to myself "how to be effective in this?", even just as an individual. It tailored my mindset.
Now I see that it is leading to an inner conflict. I attacked and arguably still attack people for doing things that I am afraid or incapable of or lack the proper knowledge to do, yet I support them being able to do those same things. I can't hold both positions simultaneously without being a hypocrite in one or both respects.
Is it rooted in jealousy? Perhaps I'm jealous of people who goonpost or like/fav/comment on sus content here or download and edit content and then post it seemingly without a care in the world (or, rather, knowing that they have a wall set up, a wall - a mask - I neither understand nor want because I thought I could do this without walls or masks). I'm in awe of them, but I'm also angry that I'm in awe of them. Perhaps it's the last vestiges of System "morality" that I didn't know I still had within me. "Look at those people, they are disgusting!" while those same people are the only ones dancing having a good time.
It's like my post about "rules". I try to follow "the rules", but I've seen people breaking "the rules" (really it's just kinda 1 or 2 big rules) in multiple ways on many occasions in my time here. Yet I also think in the ideal world there would be no need for these "rules" in the first place. And the "rule" setters don't even really take them seriously in the first place either, and why should they?How can I be overly angry at people breaking "rules" which I myself don't in principle agree with?
They are doing what true radicals do, I guess.
I used to think I was radical, and then I discovered I wasn't, so then I changed, and then I thought I was more radical, but then I discovered that I wasn't again, so then I changed again, and then I thought I was yet more radical, but then I discovered that I wasn't yet again...
@Aldo6 I started posting on 420chan using the name Jazzy long ago, I liked that place because it originally was for potheada and was chill with loli and shota. As times changed I was exiled eventually. I started to see things I liked, things I hadn't finished reading yet, disappear. The fact that I never got to see a conclusion to what I was looking at, knowing the conclusion was there, left a hollow feeling inside. It kept happening. Eventually I stopped playing games and simply started downloading things I THOUGHT were likely to be deleted. Then things I didn't think would be deleted started getting deleted. So now I save EVERYTHING that holds my interest not just works I think are "most likely" to be targeted for political reasons. I retoot to ADVERTISE artists whos WORK I like, it's almost never ever personal, I rarely talk to any of them, and I respect their work and their results, simple as. If their work is not advertised, it will not become normalized, if it does not become normalized, it will go away, or become harder to find. I hate sekret clubs, they are a pain in the ass. So I'd rather not assume everything will be there forever, because I am not putting up with the shit of joining some jerk circle. I am an archivist, at the end of the day people archive books, it's seen as respectable, I archive data. If one of my drives survived hundreds of years into the future it will give them a look into what people were creating now that is very, very likely to be erased and forgotten by history. That type of shit is the type of shit historians fucking salivate over, the stuff that's not talked about in polite company, in professional settings, because that's what usually gets preserved, boring, accounting, bullshit, and a few "high class" books and pictures, and that's it. This shit, weird shit, is the shit people don't protect. I am one of the guardians of knowledge. That's why I archive. And no I don't share anything with anyone because laws are stupid and I don't want any potential creepy fucking problems from creepy fucking people.
@Jazzy_Butts@gameliberty.club The thing is, I feel there are people who aren't archiving this for future generations hundreds of years into the future, but only with themselves as the thought. I don't feel they are as self-aware as you are or are looking at things in a historical context.
It's like the difference between long-lost or "missing piece" material being found and offering a "glimpse" (as you say) into the past, and a famous person dying and then people find 1960's nudie children mags hidden deep in the boxes in their attic and then they're forevermore "tainted" (this case actually has happened!).