Asking on fedi before I throw it on eBay:
If there's anybody here who has the skills/tools/patience to bend back these pins, there's a free Ryzen 5 3600 in it for you. Just show me that you've done something like this before.
The answer, by the way, is: Did you know sometimes you can remove the processor *with* the heat sink?
@LukeAlmighty nah, I tried, gf tried, it needs a pro