@babylonbee
>The ring, which he obtained last month on the field of battle at the base of Mt. Logan in the Yukon Province, was freed from its master when Trudeau slew a halfling ring bearer and took it from him.

>"This ring... this precious ring... it is a gift," said Trudeau before the House of Commons. "We can wield its power against the forces of white supremacy and transphobia!"