The Babylon Bee @babylonbee@gameliberty.club

EAST OF EDEN — Public opinion was heavily divided this week after accused murderer Cain raised $1,000,000 in crowdfunding donations after killing his brother, Abel.

LONDON — Prosecutors were stopped in their tracks this week and left with no recourse to pursue the case any further, after a suspect in a recent stabbing incident…

U.S. — With politicians and pundits still involved in heated debates over the legality of the deportation of an MS-13 gang member, liberals warned the public that…

CHINO, CA — Local dad Daxton Colt was reportedly having an enjoyable day at the local World War II aviation museum before he was forcibly removed from the premises…

VATICAN CITY — Distinguished canon law scholars in the Roman Catholic church have just confirmed that Purgatory consists of helping 3rd-graders with their math homework…

LOS ANGELES, CA — In a historic decision, the National Basketball Referees Association announced its intention of giving LeBron James his very own whistle to call…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As controversy swirls over the deportation of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, Democrat politicians have joined together to call for an individual court…

ANAHEIM, CA — Singer and TV personality Katy Perry inspired dozens Thursday after declaring she was an astronaut following a brief ride on Disneyland's Astro Orbiter.

GAZA — In a desperate attempt to return to family and friends they haven't seen in over a year and a half, American hostages being held by Hamas reportedly disguised…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With controversy ongoing over a judge ordering a deported MS-13 gang member to be returned to the U.S., news broke that President Donald Trump…

AUGUSTA, ME — The state of Maine has recently continued its struggle for equity by suing the federal government to allow Sasquatch to continue competing in women's…

RALEIGH, NC — Evangelical churchgoers in the Raleigh area have begun to notice that there is a sorry excuse for a church in town that only has one service. This…

CHICAGO, IL — Former President Joe Biden delivered a heartfelt address reminding the nation precisely why he is no longer President.

CAMBRIDGE, MA — In a beautiful ceremony today, Harvard University bestowed an honorary degree to the pro-Hamas activist Cody Balmer, who firebombed Governor Josh…

LONDON — As the United Kingdom's Supreme Court Judge issued a landmark ruling that "a woman" is defined as "an adult human female", onlookers could not help but…

It's that time of year again when everyone lets the government steal from them in the form of "taxes." But what if there were some easy tricks to avoid paying taxes…

SACRAMENTO, CA — In a landmark initiative praised by advocates as a sign of tremendous progress for the handicapped community, the state of California mandated that…

CAMBRIDGE, MA — In the wake of the Trump administration freezing $2.3 billion in federal funding to Harvard University, leaders of the university are sounding the…

Though men were the first to reach for the stars, science has proven definitively that women are far better suited to the task. Consider the evidence.