@Kagekokoro @Awoo it was the first game engine i found that was actually easy to use, made a lot of shitty stuff with it but that's how you learn.
now i have so much experience using it and so many ideas kicking around in my head that i don't think there's any way i'll ever be able to make a game in a different engine. my hope is that, at some point, i can take on more of a writer/director/musician role of a team doing work in something else, and not have to worry about the development side of things too much.
that's likely decades away though lol xD