The "new hyped restaurant opening in 2020s" starter pack:

Vinyl plank flooring.

Clakboard menu on wall written by someone with palsy.
Pizza with things that don't belong on pizza.
"Signature" burger which is just a Big Mac, named by someone who thinks too highly of his sense of humor.
Vegan options out the ass.
EXCLUSIVE collaboration beer with local brewery Beheaded Goblin Thrash Fuckers Brewing (hazy IPA) plus fifteen local rotating taps (IPAs).
"Signature drink" which is just an old-fashioned with vegetables in it.


"Buy the kitchen a round" markup option, even though two of the line cooks are recovering alcoholics.