@karen Because I know you're basically paralysed by guilt 24/7 karen!!!!!!!!!!!
But it's true, you're hurting nobody at all with any of your life choices, and you haven't been for a long time. Only one (((((((((((((((person)))))))))))))) ever tried to guilt you about them and you're past any obligation to them.
Stick with Lili, she's a good'un and she doesn't begrudge you enjoyment.