i didnt fuck my cat. i didnt cum on my cat. i didnt put my dick anywhere near my cat. Ive never done anything weird with my cats. I promised myself i wasnt going to make apology videos after last years thing so im just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible. ive apologized many times for all the dumb shit ive said in videos and podcasts over the years. ive learned my lesson over and over again and im more confident now in my ability to be entertaining by just being myself and not being so shocking for laughs. that story was fake and was based on a dumb awful sketch idea I had years ago that i never made (THANK GOD) and when the opportunity came up for a funny moment in the podcast I told it as if it was a real story which was DISGUSTING and VERY VERY DUMB. my goal with the podcast and with my videos years ago was to tell shocking stories that would make people laugh and scream "OMG NO U DIDNT!!" and think i was "soooo crazy". its embarrassing and i fucking hate myself for it.now that im making stuff i love and im being myself it feels so much better and i finally feel like im putting stuff out into the world that means something. im not saying i hate everything ive made over the years. theres so many things im so proud of. but all of my offensive jokes, over the top stories, and insensitive jokes are something that still haunt me and something I have to be faced with everyday on the internet. and it never gets easier. so im sorry for what i said about my cat, im sorry for what i said about anything or anyone that was offensive, and im sorry for being someone who thought being super offensive and shocking all the time was funny. im sorry for my past. but im really to make it right and i feel like without my past i wouldnt be who I am today and i wouldnt be able to grow & spend my energy on things that actually mean something. this has been the best 2 years of my life & its because ive been able to drop the act & be myself. and im sorry for not doing it sooner.