Vent/Animal Control
Raccoons ate my tomatoes so now I'm going to trap and humanely kill every raccoon on my property. They fucked around and now they will find out. Also they ate my pets years ago, but the tomato was the final straw. I am helping evolution, only raccoons with genes that say "stay away from humans, do not eat their tomatoes" will survive.
I love animals but I also do not tolerate shit. And yes, I would rather relocate them, but they will very likely be ripped apart slowly by raccoons already established in that area. Humanely killing them is the only way to keep my animals and plants safe, and spare the Raccoons a torturous death.
Vent/Animal Control
I grew these tomatos zen style, that means by hand, every day, taking care of them, appreciating them, and these fucks, these pieces of shit who did not respect my territory, stole from me, my biggest, and ripest tomato. These were special heirloom tomatoes and I cannot simply buy them. These raccoons have entered the lions den, they could smell my scent but did not respect my territory, now they will face the consequences of their foolishness. 
Vent/Animal Control
ANY KITS TRAPPED WILL NOT BE KILLED, AND WILL BE HANDED OFF TO PROFESSIONAL WILDLIFE REHABILITATORS (felt I should mention this)
Vent/Animal Control
In the meantime I have placed snap traps around the garden with peanut butter, in the hope that if they snap their snoots they will be scared enough to fuck off for good so I won't have to kill them.