@Chizu @Liminal I have had lots of experience with therapists and agree, I hadn't seen one in years but gave this woman a chance because my mom knew her and said she would be someone who would treat me well. Bullshit. The therapist has an adult kid who lives in another state and has a lifestyle that directly conflics with her own values, but isn't willing to own that and takes the "hate the sin not the sinner" route. Sad and gross. I used to have a "friend" to talk to (we were more like a couple, we would sleep in the same bed regularly and would sppon and caress eachother, but never had sex...he later claimed to be straight when I verbalized what was being felt) but we stopped talking years ago after it became too awkward and sad. Ever since then I've been spiraling. I dated someone after he left the picture, a trans girl, but she got judgy when I opened up about how I like loli/shota stuff and I stopped feeling comfortable with her after that so I had to break up. We fought about stupid shit too so it's not like that's the only reason we broke up but it freaked me out enough to say bye and then I went into hiding because I was sure she would tell everyone to be petty but idk if she did or not. We didn't really have any mutual friends anyway. I just wish I had a partner who liked who I was and not who I was pretending to be.