@Jazzy_Butts the details of his suicide are fascinating, as are of his diarying and feelings, the nonsexual obsession he had

As Björk's music plays in the background, a naked López shaves his head and eyebrows and paints his face red and green.[8] He examines himself in a mirror and tells the camera that he is "a little nervous now". He then states, "I'm definitely not drunk. I am not depressed. I know exactly what I am doing. [The gun] is cocked back. It's ready to roll."

explicitly pausing to acknowledge an awareness of what he's about to do, that he's not knowingly impaired, clear of mind