*hard rock music plays*
*Satan swoops around laughing and then lands in the oval office chair*
"HAHAHHAHAA I'M GOING TO MAKE EVERYBODY SUFFER AND I'M GOING TO TELL THEM I'M DOING IT BECAUSE I LOVE GOD AND JESUS HAHAHA!"

"PLEASE WON'T SOMEBODY SAVE US SOMEBODY COME HELP?!"

*Harder rock music plays*
"Have no fear, Alkaloid Man is here!"

"Yay! Alkaloid Man, save us, he's trying to make us feel bad!"

"NO! NOT ALKALOID MAN! HE'S GOING TO KICK THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF ME BECAUSE I'M A DUMB FAGOT!"

*Alkaloid Man kicks the devil so hard in his balls that he vomits and dies*

"And that's why feeling good is always better than feeling bad, don't let faggots ruin YOUR good time!"

*all the people all over everywhere cheered and threw their hands up and applauded Alkaloid Man while he dispersed alkaloids magically through the atmosphere so that they could all finally enjoy their day*