Me: EW, YOU FUCKED GUYS BEFORE ME???? GROSS! TAINTED!

Also Me: OH, YOU FUCKED DOGS, BUT NO GUYS? YOU TOOK THAT KNOTTY WOTTY? YOU TOOK IT DEEP? THE DOGS CUMMED? OK YEA BABE, YOU'RE CLEAN, YOU'RE THE ONE!

This is not irony, this is how I feel