mean

typical days in heaven are like

michael: humans should probably be getting water is anyone like giving water to humans
sexy angel: yeah i got this really good water and i just kinda shimmy it down to them off my dope body
michael: ok that seems good
really gross angel: *bleeds all over the water for the humans*
michael: Fuck outta GET OUT OF HERE fucking GROSS

this scene is actually extremely embarrassing for michael because like, its happening in front of john. yhwh basically said that john could take like a elementary school field trip with a cherubim chaperone and he definitely shouldn't be seeing that there are gross angels that will sometimes bleed all over the shit thats getting sent down to earth

i do think its really underappreciated how comical a lot of this is - like the vulgar and the divine have this constant comedy of error dynamic going on that's fascinating. old testament fragments ive read have also been really funny, like asmodeous trying to give solomon the shamir but solomon can't be tempted because he's always drunk and asleep. anyway:

john: father im confused about like, famine. couldnt you just make it so there isn't famine
yhwh: honestly like just come up here and check it out lemme show you how this whole thing works. ill send an uber just pray for a while
john: ok
*incomprehensible nightmare being shows up that scares literally all the apostles so bad they're out cold*
john: dude like WHAT IS THIS??
yhwh: ohhhh... :( you dont like it.... :(

also even in non-apocryphal works it really seems like god fully does not like humans

@cracky what's the equivalent of stomping up the stairs and banging the door of the room closed here

@driftwood

@cracky this seems more like whatever other parental figure arguing in hushed tones with god to let one come down for dinner because it's very bad for growing young teens to go to sleep without dinner regardless of what they might have said or done

@driftwood it does kind of feel a lot of the time like michael is god's domestic partner or something.

god: they keep SINNING
michael: i know honey but you cant kill them
god: im gonna KILL THEM
michael: honey if you kill them im gonna be really mad
god: ok i wont kill them but they only get a little water

@driftwood there is something touching about it because obviously like, god doesn't have to listen to michael, but he does. god wants michael there to play this role