We were like a little married couple. Slept in the same bed, always hung out together for a couple years, felt safe together, shared secrets, vulnerabilities, helped each other work though stuff, but he just for whatever reason wouldn't give me what I needed, he probably would have gone along with it if I was more assertive but I was very passive and gentle and that snapped him out of his slut haze and he was like "n-no" right before we kissed so I didn't push in, but I wanted to, and it hurt me inside my soul not to. Felt wrong. Felt like he was inviting me to push him, but I didn't, and that proved to him in his mind or something that I wasn't worh it as a romantic partner.