THE MOST INSIDIOUS PART of living in a society with thoughtcrime, is that if someone who shares your "criminal" thoughts ever confesses their thoughts to you, you have no way of telling if they're genuine, or if they're only fishing for information, testing you, and then you've got a choice, do you accept them and assure them and keep it quiet (maybe even confide in them reciprocally), or do you blow up their spot, do you act like an anti in order to pass as normative, since there is no way you can ever really know if your conversation partner is duplicitous or not. Horrible life. Horrible world. It's like the star trek mirror universe. I often wondered as a child and still wonder, is this hell? Are we here to suffer, and part of our punishment is not knowing why?