OK GUIS my ex talked to me again (the trans male one who still looks like a hot girl) and she apologized for not getting back to me but it was because we wouldn't be able to have alone time (I'm not sure why she wants alone time but I want it because I want to be able to relax with her and not have to put on airs for other people). She also said she's scared to talk to me, which makes sense to me because I'm scared to talk to her too. But I miss her, and I hate that I still love her, so much that I don't care if we're a couple or have sex or not, I just want her in my life, she became a fixture in it and I miss that. And I understand we would probably get bored/annoyed with eachother but we're adults now and I know not to spend all my fucking time with someone because I'll eventually start hating them because of things they do that annoy me. Friends are best in small doses.