So this new guy at work starts extremely oversharing outta nowhere. He's all like, "So back in highschool I had this girlfriend, and we were driving to buy a prom dress, and I had a blowout and crashed into the guardrail, totaled my car and I was crying about it, and she just told me to stop crying about it and be a man" and I'm thinking, Alright seems kinda shitty on her part. "And then I catch her fucking her cousin outside of a gas station and apparently they've been doing it for ages"

And I'm thinking, probably bullshit but sounds based. "And then when I ask her about her fucking her cousin she says that we were never actually dating and it was nothing romantic at all, so I end up having to go to prom alone. And she comes up to me and makes a big scene saying I ruined prom for her, so I tell everyone 'well at least I'm not the one that was fucking my cousin outside a gas station'" And I'm thinking, yeah sure bud and then the whole class clapped.

@Sudodeme This is why I don't tell people my awesome stories anymore I know they won't believe me and will make fun of me on the internet

@Jazzy_Butts He told me all of this within two hours of meeting me.