When I was little I would try so hard until I got hit with learned helplessness due to abuse. I still need someone who loves me to watch out for me because sometimes I...just can't keep it together and I stare of into space, I forget what day it is...I have no purpose, that's where I wish I had a gf/bf to give me suggestions, to be like, "Hey, Jazzy, I see that thousand yard stare, you ok babe?" and then I'll snap out of it and be like "Yea, yea I'm ok now, you pulled me back...*gets genuinely cheerful, due to gratitude* hey how about I make some dinner for us?" 🥺🥺🥺🥺