I'm trying to actively stop myself from giving my attention to people who don't give their attention to me, doesn't matter if it's because they don't like me or are just indifferent, I'm done even trying, nobody worth loving is someone you have to be terrified of disappointing, only to have that terror realized again and again, because based on their cruel silent actions, it's clear I have been a disappointment. So I'm done trying. Dark Jazzy return to me now, inhabit my body again and return me to the dark truth of the trench, the depths of the ocean where there is no lying.