now if I really like a company, maybe I *actually* wanna talk to some really cool people and see some really cool shit before letting them down....

I'll literally say "So I'm guessing the felony conviction isn't a problem?" literally while signing the offer letter. It's fucking hilarious.

Ink ain't even dry. Everything was fine 30 seconds ago. Everyone leaves the room. Security shows up to escort me out.

If you laugh, it hurts less.