The arguments of "God can't create a square circle" or "God can't make a boulder so heavy he couldn't lift it" are retarded on their face.

The only point they possibly make is that "God, subject to finite constraints, cannot do literally anything." Not only is this a moot point, it's not even a correct one. God created the constraints in the first place. He could simply redefine mathematics or linguistics such that a "square circle" is no longer a nonsense category. He could simply redefine you as not a retard who asks jibberish questions.