shit goes missing, it's confusing
I think of this stuff like email. you send something off, it's been sent off. you can delete it on your end if you want but it's out in the world and that's that
ideally we'd all have native clients that retained local copies (as with email) or the server would maintain that for us (ie private inboxes) so that when something got deleted from the thread (aka mailing list or whatever) your personal copy remained. would solve the issue of servers broadcasting stuff that you don't want broadcast (ie you deleted it) but that was sent to other people
anyway in absence of things working at least as well as email (what a depressingly low bar

) ignoring delete requests is the next best thing. FSE and baest both do that, pretty sure other large instances do as well