I don't know if anyone can relate to this but I refuse to hold or participate with religious items.

The reason for this is I feel like my soul would dirty such a revenant and sacred object. I am unworthy even glancing at something so above me.

I'm a disgusting unreligious tainted soul.

There's just some kind of mental block. I just can't find any faith in any higher power even though I desperately want to.

I wish I would have been raised religious as a kid.