NEED ADVICE.
My friend is planning on killing himself next year if he can't get out of his abusive mother's house but he apparently got blacklisted because his last employer lied about him doing misconduct because his boss really hated him and he can't find a job because of that.
He has virtually no money can't apply for food stamps or any government assistance because he lives with his mother and his mother takes all those benefits and gives nothing to him so he's solely relying on the generosity of people donating to him personally.
He only has a high school diploma and can do general manual labor doesn't have any specialty or skills. Any advice on how to help him
He lives in Arkansas 32 years old.
@souldessin he's gone to one or two churches and both of them have not helped him and he doesn't like religious institutions because his mother is using that to justify beating him.
But I'll definitely suggest to him those trade jobs to see if he might be able to get in there somehow because I know some trade jobs some person can be a multi-convicted felon and they'll still let them in.
@Mr_NutterButter
I tried to start a business helping churches. Out of 50 churches that I went to, offering nearly free service, only four actually listened to me. But out of those four, all of them offered to help me in any way they could.
If he goes to a church and they turn him away, then he needs to do just what is said in the Bible. Shake the dust off your feet and move on to the next one, because when he finds one that will help him, they will actually do what they can to help.
@Mr_NutterButter
They may even actually help house him for a period and get him a job. That's a real church. Any church hearing what his mother is doing should be stepping in and saying this is not right and helping him get out. If they're not doing that, then they're not a real church.
It's absolutely sad that there's so many of them out there, but they are.
@souldessin and because of that he basically refuses to go to any other religious institution even though.
I told him that if you go to enough of them eventually one of them will help you and feed you and even possibly get you a job because they'll go out of the way to help you and he just doesn't believe me.
Worst part is is even though I can give him money occasionally to help him out.
He's basically convinced himself that if he can't get out of the situation hes in right now that he's going to kill himself no matter what if there's not really anything I can do about it. He refuses to tell me his exact location and that he lives in that state and that's it meaning I couldn't even call police or social services to try and help him he's completely dead set on this by the end of the year.
And he's told me multiple times that he questions any faith in God because he says why would God ever let something horrible like this happened to him and I'm not religious so I don't know what to genuinely say back to him or anything. It's just depressing.
@Mr_NutterButter
Okay, quick thing. How basic handyman quality handy is he?
Personally, I like to create things, and because I haven't been in the best of situations financially, I put a lot of thought into how to get out at the absolute cheapest. And if he has some basic skills, very basic, then I have a bunch of things. There's a bunch of things that he could do that would house him outside of that house with actual comfort and legally. No bending rules and fearing that.
@souldessin he's worked basic service jobs at Walmart and McDonald's and he's worked for a moving company he seems to know how to use basic tools.
I could ask him for more information if you want but this is everything I know so far.
@Mr_NutterButter
One of the primary things that I had looked at was where you could go in a situation and a lot of my research pointed to farms. If you ask around a couple of farms and explain your situation and say, "I just want to rent a small bit of land and put up a really nice tent all temporary and I'll take it down when I'm done." You could rent a small section of land on a farm that is removed for less than $100-200 a month.
@Mr_NutterButter
Furthermore, a cheap harbor freight garage tent can actually have nearly 300 square feet of space with a proper simple pallet subfloring and some insulation, as well as this part is necessary, reinforcement. If you got a hot tent fireplace, for less than $500 you could have a full place that is heated and can cook.
@Mr_NutterButter
Now, I don't know how populated his area is, but there are quite often some halfway houses that will offer renting of a room. One of the easier places that might be to get into would be a more Christian-based one, and you don't have to pick one that is an actual halfway house, but they offer cheap rooms for people in need.
In Delaware, they often advertise in the rooms for rent section of newspapers and websites.
this story sounds familiar in so many ways
@icedquinn I hope this hasn't happened to you but if it is I hope things get better
He's been a homeless before addicted to drugs and stuck in a gang for multiple years.
He finally cleaned himself up.
Then he lost his job two times in a row due to it being outsourced to a machine / AI. Basically couldn't find a job had to stay at his mother's house so he wouldn't to go homeless and he doesn't want to do any towards her because when he was on drugs he would hit women constantly and he says that he's no longer that man and he would rather kill himself than go homeless again or lay his hands on his mother because he's done it too many times and it's just awful for him.
His train of thinking not mine
Is there a place where he can receive donations? A bit of cash may motivate him to a fresh start. Can you help him temporarily as a friend?
We always assume "the family" will fill its "functions" so he ends up with a mother who takes his money and beats him at 32. He needs out of "family" and into organic reality, which doesn't always work according to our social engineering calculations.
Cute kitty, is it his?
@Peep He used to live in my state but he doesn't anymore and I can only send him money occasionally because I have to pay for my own bills but I normally can't send him more than a hundred which doesn't really do anything for him. Because his mother refuses to help share groceries at all so he's basically using that money purely for food so he doesn't starve.
Me and him have agreed multiple times if he can somehow get out of state and find any job whatsoever in that state he would be perfectly fine with living paycheck to paycheck as long as he's just anywhere else.
Problem is $100 is not really going to get him anywhere out of state with food mony for long enough for him to guarantee you find a job without possibly starving or going homeless in that new state.
The thing he wants more than anything is just any job whatsoever that would allow him to save enough money to eventually move out.
He said he's desperate enough to even work for $10 an hour or lower buddy basically can't leave his state.
Also cat is not his it's from someone on fedi I decided to include the image because it's cute and wicked people's attention but he own a cat.
I was just thinking that if someone started some kind of 'go-fund-me' thing perhaps he could have a bit more to start the process of moving and get himself in a better position to get a job?...
@Mr_NutterButter
Trades jobs are good paying and "low skill/entry level." A few lawn care clients can pay a good amount.
Also he should talk to the local churches. I won't lie, some are caught up in themselves and may not even try to help. But there will be at least one that will.
If he is close to any business district, window cleaning is cheap to start and you can get $10-40 per store front. A few a day and that's a days pay.