@nosleep
The funny part is that while he's clearly wrong, he also might be right. Hear me out.

If Nazis had won WW2, and conquered most of the world (or at least the important bits), it's very possible that the Germanic influence would have spread so much that the common language spoken on the Internet would have been German. Sooooo.... if USA hadn't saved everyone's ass in WW2, Hans could have indeed spoken German on 4chan.