The straights are not okay

@Rasp were they ever tho 🤔

@WabbityWabbit I never implied they were

@Rasp @WabbityWabbit what the hell is a trans widow?
I have to assume it's not just a trans woman who's a widow...

@mer @WabbityWabbit

The idea is those who married a trans person who was either not out or more likely unaware and then the relationship died when they came out.

@mer @WabbityWabbit basically TERFS who feel like the "Trans" stole their partner. Ya know... assholes.

@Rasp @mer @WabbityWabbit
>Ya know... assholes
I was with you, up until you called random people you know nothing about assholes.
Here's the thing, it's not just that people grief over the collapse of their relationships. It's that everyone around a trans-person is being forced to act as if the individual, prior to transitioning, never existed in the first place. It's the taboo people such as yourself place around recognizing that people like Ellen Page, the Wachowski brothers, or Bruce Jenner ever existed.

Everyone around a trans-person, after coming out, is forced to deny their own memories, experiences or love that existed for the person prior to said coming out, or risk offending the sensibilities of not only the trans-person, but everyone in polite society. They effectively need to act as if the person they knew died, cause otherwise people such as yourself will attack them.

If you cannot comprehend the pain that is caused as a CONSEQUENCE of the environment the trans activists have created, then you need to look at yourself in the mirror, because you're the asshole.

@alyx @Rasp @WabbityWabbit There's an adaptation period, no sane trans person is getting mad if you accidently mix names or pronouns up for a while after they come out. After that, if you stay in contact you're not forgetting the past, you're just seeing them as they are now and being polite about the past.
Getting really hung up on the past is a thing that happens when you cut ties because they come out. You never get to see them change so you never update your mental image of them. Of course it's troubling.
Imagine someone gets clean off heroin and you go around whining that they don't tell everyone that they used to be a junkie.

And yeah, that might make a marriage incompatible. But my straight parents worked out a less spiteful separation than whatever this shit is, despite hating each other.

@mer @alyx @WabbityWabbit I have an "Everybody gets one" policy when it comes to screwing up. Unless they're intentionally being an asshole.

@Rasp @mer @WabbityWabbit
>"Everybody gets one"
Someone that has known the past you for a while won't manage to instantly adjust to the change and manage to keep the mistakes within your "everybody gets one" policy.
Or in other words, sounds like you are being the asshole. Which is good to know for me, since I had a different impression.

@alyx@gameliberty.club @Rasp@raru.re @mer@cdrom.tokyo @WabbityWabbit@kolektiva.social It's really easy to see when people are trying and when they're not. Maybe one out of ten of the people I hear using this excuse are actually trying.

@mer@minidisc.tokyo @mer@cdrom.tokyo @Rasp @WabbityWabbit
And I also see plenty of examples when a trans-person can't wait to plunge at the opportunity to feign outrage and offense, and destroy a person, irrespective if people are trying or not.

@alyx@gameliberty.club @mer@cdrom.tokyo @Rasp@raru.re @WabbityWabbit@kolektiva.social Welcome to the fact that trans persons are persons. Not all people are cool and not all trans persons are cool.
But if you have a brain it's easy to see one side of the issue is a minority attracting hate for who they are while the other is a minority not being very chill because being under attack for being who they are is stressful. Some would even say as a defense mechanism.

@mer@minidisc.tokyo @mer@cdrom.tokyo @Rasp @WabbityWabbit
> Some would even say as a defense mechanism.
Be careful with that defense mechanism. Trans activists have pushed things a little too far, and the average person, that normally was on your side, is getting closer and closer to not wanting to deal with the commotion created by a minority of the population.

It used to be that feminists were the ones that screamed much too loudly for their own good, and attracted the people's ire. Now I'm seeing that negative attention going towards the trans community overall. It might not be the "defense mechanism" that has attracted attention, but it might end up being the cherry on top.