Look, you guys are getting stake again, nobody cares about this ceap, right now there's a big kerfuffle about patriot front and America first and possible FBI connections right?

How about this headline:

"Center right voter realizes he may be a federal agent"

"Sources say the man realized he may have contracted fed-itis at a Ted Cruz rally. Dr. Fauci is advising triple masks (available at Walmart) and home tests for the disease (available through Amazon)

yes I know this isn't good copy, but you get the picture