Welp, I think that's it. Laptop is just refusing to boot to the BIOS. Little guy lasted 4 years, $200 cobbled together thing. RIP. Don't have money for a new one so idk wtf I'm gonna do for D&D for the next few months, gonna have to haul my whole PC upstairs probably.
@charliebrownau all I need is access to my docs so I could technically run it off my phone or print off a bunch of stuff for the DM screen, but it would be a little bit painful haha. Though perhaps not as painful as just p&p.
@charliebrownau battery is fine, same behavior with it unplugged. Dunno about the bios chip.