This is my full, unadulterated review of The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. There will be spoilers and there will probably be more text vomiting than is necessary. I'm going to put it in chunks based on Story, World, Gameplay, Audio, and Technology, just so that I don't end up going back and forth between them and making things even more confusing than they have to be. I will then give a little finishing statement to wrap it all up! Each of these will be a different post so that you can skip to one if you don't care about a certain section, and they're all going to be unlisted instead of public like this one is.
Apparently, this is about a 30 minute read and contains over 7,500 words. Reader beware.
WORLD REVIEW of Tears of the Kingdom
I had to make this its own section because I wasn't sure whether to put it in Story or Gameplay, as it kind of ties into both. I'm going to just talk about the surface land of Hyrule, the Skies, and the Depths in three separate chunks to make things easier to approach. I guess I can talk about the temples a little bit here, too.
The Surface is, of course, taken straight from Breath of the Wild. It had been 6 years since I played Breath of the Wild, so I wasn't too worried that it would be too similar to me, even though I did complete the entire game. Thankfully, it does really feel renewed and fresh! The towns have all expanded and changed in one way or another, and you can feel the fruits of your labor from Breath of the Wild as well as Tears throughout the story in terms of how different these towns have become. They added entire cave systems and wells, which I can imagine would be particularly jarring to go back to Breath of the Wild and see them missing. They feel like such natural parts of Hyrule that were always meant to be there, and the team did a really great job with them. Exploring these caves was some of my favorite gameplay. The glyphs from the dragon tears don't change too much beyond the visual aesthetics. There are some other little areas here and there as well that have been retooled for things like Yiga hideouts and a gate going into the Gerudo Desert. In a very unique, Nintendo-like twist of events, the actual position of the sun has also changed to make things seem that much more fresh, even subconsciously. Areas will literally not look the same as they did before, even if everything else is identical. Really strange from a story/lore perspective, but I can totally see why they did it.
The Skies have a lot going for them, housing the lead-ups to three of the game's temples. There are plenty of mini-puzzles up here that end in shrines that just hold a treasure chest and a spirit orb. Or, excuse me, Light of Blessing. The naming for that is really strange, just as a sidenote. Why not Blessing of Light? Anyway, the skies are unique enough and have a decent amount of challenge to them to justify their inclusion in the game, and it does feel cool exploring all these new areas after launching up to them from one of the new towers. There certainly are things about the skies that get pretty samey, with some reused islands, but it's hardly an issue in a game this large and it is something I didn't even really notice until it was pointed out to me. Despite some being the same or very similar, they all feel fresh. They house different materials for cooking (which is great for combatting Gloom) and Zonai devices in capsules, which gives you a good reason to go up there as well.
The Depths are where things kind of start to fall apart. They are an exact mirror image of the geography of Hyrule. Mountains turn into chasms, and lakes turn into mountains. It isn't a different realm like the Shadow or Spirit realms in games past, but an actual physical location. There is a lot of Zonai architecture down here, as well as constructs and entire mineral refineries. Poes litter the entire area, and there are even spirits that hold weaponry that has been unaffected by Gloom, despite the Depths being completely covered in the stuff. Story-wise, I find it extremely hard to believe that this had not been discovered any sooner by anyone, especially because it seems like the Zonai were particularly fond of it, hiding all sorts of treasure down there and mining it for resources. There must have been one hell of a coverup to prevent anyone from finding Ganondorf's sealing location, being right underneath Hyrule Castle this entire time. The Depths are entirely pitch black, which you are able to light up with various items or with the Light Roots, which are connected to the underside of shrines on the Surface. At first, the Depths were something I explored heavily, not being able to pry myself away from them. There are so many treasures down here and so many paths to follow to look at these interesting structures. It all started to become a massive hassle, though. I mean, this place is the size of Hyrule and you have to traverse it in the dark. I almost feel like it isn't meant to be explored in its entirety, seriously. It actively pushes against you, whereas the Surface and Sky feel so much more open and explorable, with plenty of reasons to go and visit something you see out of the blue while traveling around. The Depths have Light Roots and structures you begin to see pieces of on your map as the Light Roots expose your surrounding areas, but that's really all it is. There is a side story down here featuring Master Kohga of the Yiga Clan, but it is over relatively quickly and then what's left of the Depths isn't much beyond specific quests you get from the Surface. It became so much of a hassle for me to get through that it is where I stopped playing the game for a while, because I felt like I had to get 100% completion and the Depths were really fighting against me doing that. I got maybe 2/3 of the way done with the game in the end, and I feel like if the Depths were removed I would have had much more motivation. It adds too much while not being rewarding enough.
The Temples are a welcome addition, although they are all easier than their Divine Beast counterparts to complete. I'd say that part of the temples' difficulty and length comes with the lead-up to them, where you have to travel different parts of the world and complete other quests to actually get into the Temples in the first place. In this regard, they are much longer than the ones in Breath of the Wild, as long as you count everything you need to do to reach them to begin with. I also enjoyed that the bosses of each Temple weren't just different Blight Ganons, instead being their own bespoke creatures just like the older Zelda games. There were different strategies to defeating all of them, which mostly felt pretty rewarding to pull off, and could even be approached in some unique ways. The Sage abilities are far more integrated into the whole affair now too. This is one of the ways that I feel Tears drastically improves on Breath of the Wild, while still keeping the same formula. There is a problem with the Temples that also plays into the gameplay, and that's how sandboxed it has become. The Fire Temple in particular is so mind-numbingly easy because you can just fly around to every switch and press it to complete the dungeon without really interacting with it. Like I already mentioned, these are much easier than the Divine Beasts were, but it isn't a massive problem as much as it is a very different interpretation of a Zelda dungeon, stretching out the task at hand to the world outside of it instead of it being more contained.
Altogether, the world is changed for the better, to the point where Breath of the Wild would be really hard to revisit now. Unfortunately, the Depths lose a lot of their initial luster and really hamper progress if you spend too much time in them. It would have been to the game's benefit if these areas in the Depths were much closer to what the Sky is like, being smaller clumps of areas with more refined things to explore.
AUDIO REVIEW of Tears of the Kingdom
I'm a little impartial on the audio design. It isn't particularly memorable like themes from classic Zelda games for anything beyond the main theme, and if the music does get stuck in your head it is usually because it is a new version of an older song, like the Rito Village music being just like Dragon Roost Island's. There is a lot of remixed music from Breath of the Wild here, and I'm glad they didn't copy it over wholesale. There's a good use of refrain as well, but maybe not to the extent that Breath of the Wild had. There isn't much to say about the audio in general, it's not offensive in the slightest but it's also not something I'll really internalize and remember for the rest of my life. Compared to Ocarina of Time, Wind Waker, Twilight Princess... it just doesn't compare.
The voice acting is, once again, a little in the uncanny valley territory. It doesn't help that the main story is only somewhat voice acted. You'll be in a cutscene with VA one moment and then you'll be talking to that same character with just the basic "Oh!" kind of voice lines the next. It must be something to do with the voice acting direction, or the animation, or something, because all of the voices sound fine on paper but in practice they come off as a little bit strange. I didn't like the voice acting much in Breath of the Wild either, and Tears continues that trend.
TECHNOLOGY REVIEW of Tears of the Kingdom
How does this game run on the Switch? Really, how? Okay, it barely does. The frame rate can drop pretty significantly and there is a dynamic resolution system in place. Thankfully, I have the ability to overclock my Switch which made the game run at 30 FPS in pretty much all circumstances, but I do feel bad for those that weren't able to play the game like this. Ultrahand often tanks the game's frame rate and it's very jarring. Still, the consistency of gameplay without any major bugs or huge input delay problems is proof of Nintendo's passion for creating polished games, and the fact that this thing can fit on a 16 GB game cartridge is a technical achievement. There seriously must be some technomancy going on here. The game has no stuttering issues either, which is nice to see in 2023. You'd expect some when going from the Sky to the Surface, of the Surface to the Depths, but it is all so cohesive and I'm sure Nintendo spent a lot of time refining this. Unfortunately there are still some issues, like sub 1080p resolution and a really poor sense of object permanence, and those things can indeed detract from the experience at some points. It would have been awesome to see this game on a better console, and I'm hoping that we do eventually get that on whatever Nintendo's next console is.
I'm just going to say it, the menus are clunky. Even after 100 hours I was still not quite used to it, and could think of so many ways it could be changed for the better. Something as simple as looping selection doesn't even exist here, where if you push down at the end of a list it would go back to the top of the list. Nope, not in Tears of the Kingdom. You have to scroll all the way back to the first item. I was expecting this to be patched relatively quickly, but I guess not enough people complained about it because you still cannot do that. There are some other baffling design decisions as well that definitely seem stuck in the past, which a friend referred to as being "very Japanese." I'd love to be able to see quest objectives on the quest screen instead of needing to check how many of an item I have in the inventory. I'd love to be told what items I need to upgrade each piece of armor and how many I already have right in the armor's description. The item throwing system is super clunky. The weapon/shield/bow quick selection should have been a radial menu just like the ability selection menu is. So many little things that could cut down on so much time.
END OF REVIEW of Tears of the Kingdom
Well, there it is, my extreme dissection of Tears of the Kingdom. If you actually read the whole thing you must be insane. It's one thing to have enough passion to write something out this long, but it's another thing to be passionate for someone else's passion, enough to read about it. So thanks, I guess.
Tears of the Kingdom is an amazing game, with the only real thing weighing it down being the messy story. While many things come together as being more than the sum of their parts, I wouldn't say the same is true for this game. It's parts feel a little disconnected, but some of them are so good you tend to forget about the others. It's also so long and so dense with content that it works to its detriment. I wouldn't wish a 100% playthrough of this game on my worst enemy. By the time I got halfway done I was struggling, treating the game more like a task meant to be finished than a game meant to be enjoyed. I was in somewhat of an abusive relationship with it, and at a certain point I just had to finish it and set it aside so I could focus on other things. This review is like a final goodbye to the game, as I'm sure I won't be playing it again any time soon, if ever. It really wore me down, and even when I was playing the game for 8-10 hours a day and it was all I could think about, I would need to take breaks every couple of days because it was just so full of stuff that was pulling me in every direction.
If you have the chance to play the game, or are wondering if you should pick it up, I would say that it is worth playing. Maybe not at the $70 price point, but if you can get a used copy for cheaper or something then go for it. Just please do not try and do everything the game has to offer and control yourself a little bit. The more I played the game, the less I enjoyed it, and that's really unfortunate because Breath of the Wild stayed pretty fun for me the entire way through.
Tears of the Kingdom is a flawed game, but it's the best flawed game I've ever played.
GAMEPLAY REVIEW of Tears of the Kingdom
The best part about Tears of the Kingdom is the gameplay itself, which isn't surprising given the fact that Nintendo spent so long making sure they got it right. The sandbox nature of an open world game is taken to the next level here, and has completely shattered any hope of returning to Breath of the Wild in the future. You can fly anywhere, completely break puzzles at a whim, and build contraptions that will put the fear of god into the enemies that have to be subjected to their destruction. The Ascend ability lets you just travel through ceilings onto the floor above them, and that has been so cemented in my mind that when I'm playing a completely different game and need to get to higher ground, I immediately reach for the Ascend ability and find it isn't there. The way you interact with the world is absurd, and I imagine that if Tears wins Game of the Year for 2023 and remains such a huge game, it will be solely because of this gameplay. It is unrivaled in every sense of the word, and the developers are practically begging you to break the game.
Whether or not this is a good thing though will be pretty subjective. Personally, I get a kick out of cheesing puzzles and coming up with my own solutions, but I know that there are a lot of people who find greater satisfaction in more traditional puzzle solving because it tends to stretch the brain to greater lengths. Every shrine and every temple has specific developer-intended ways of completing them, but they are left so open that you can really just pick a way to beat it and it'll work. The Rewind ability is particularly egregious, letting you skip over lots of things by simply lifting an object into the air with Ultrahand, putting it back down, standing on it, then Rewinding it.
Fusing things on weapons is pretty cool, but due to the type of player I am I pretty much always went for the things that would give me the most strength, rather than trying to strategize. I'm sure that there will be many players out there who love sneaking around, using Puffshrooms and Muddlebuds to incapacitate their foes, but I'm the kind of guy that loves to just stick a bunch of bomb flowers on the ends of my arrows and shields and go to town. The gameplay is just so open that it lets you tackle things however you want, and I generally do appreciate that even if it can feel a little bit cheap sometimes.
There are some limits to this, however. There are definitely places where the developers have made sure that you can't use tricky workarounds. Zonai devices that you use to build contraptions and vehicles with will also eventually disappear, whether that's because you took them too far from their spawn point or you got too far from their spawn point. The despawning in Tears is pretty egregious, which is certainly affected by the Switch's lack of power. Nothing persists between saving and loading a game, so if you build a cool contraption and save the game, when you load it that thing is gone, along with all of the resources you used to build it. It can be really frustrating, because it means that if you're trying something particularly tricky you'll have to save before building, and you'll have to rebuild with every failure and subsequent load.
The Sage abilities are something that went mostly unused for me, other than Tulin's control over the air, which can help you gain more ground and faster while gliding in the air. The other sage abilities didn't feel nearly as useful as the Champions' did outside of their dungeons. Mineru's was actually really awesome, but it's a shame that it's right at the end of the game so it doesn't get much use outside of finding her secret stone. Her construct body is something you can actually pilot and fuse things to. Shooting a canon and a laser beam at enemies was awesome.
There are some minor differences in the way this game works with the gameplay versus Breath of the Wild, all of which are good. I won't list them, but I think it is safe to say that Tears is an absurd improvement over Breath of the Wild, and is a host to all sorts of completely unique concepts in gaming that all come together to create something truly fun to play.
One thing I am really not impressed with is how much you have to wait around for things to happen that you have already seen. I'm upgrading a bunch of inventory slots or armors, and I have to watch the same cutscene so many times. It's skippable, to a certain extent, but I'd rather not see it at all. It needs to be a lot snappier. I hate sitting through the first part of the Korok dance and then their little explosion to upgrade my inventory five times in a row because I haven't done it in a while. I realize that there is a lot of charm here and a lot of love put into these animations, so that they fit into the game world better instead of just being a menu screen, but man do they get annoying after a while. I do not need to be told what a heart container is every time I pick one up, or a Light of Blessing. I can go into the inventory and check the description if I forget. Just give me the damn thing and let me go on my way.