It took a month to cry. A month of shock. A month of people calling me a white (I'm African Middle Eastern) colonizer (I never lived on occupied territories) and a supporter of genocide and ethnic cleansing (I adore Palestinian / Arabic Israelies living in peace with us). A month of horror stories and family being refugees, of inability to move, of losing "friends" who didn't even check if I'm alive or well. A month of abuse and gaslighting. A month of learning I only now have lost my innocence.