The election should be decided by who can carry the most pizzas. I can think of nothing more American than that.

@matrix politics in <current year> be like

@matrix are those little ceasars pizzas?

I'm finally offended.

@matrix
We've fallen so far.
Back in the day we decided who would be a better President by how many glizzys he could throat.
Now all that is needed to qualify is to carry some pizza???

@matrix
I think the most salient evidence that the country has stagnated is that we've had two election cycles in a row between the exact same individuals *and* nobody likes either of them.

RRU

I'm sure trump can eat 8 pizza like it's nothing 🤣

@matrix