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Little is it known, but Harry Potter's real name is DeShawn Harrius Potter. His father was George "Floyd" Potter, viciously murdered by a worker from the Department for Combating Black Magic. His mother Shaniqua died of an overdose of Letax (a powder for travelling up chimneys).
@matrix can we stop calling it "black" magic
@sun Sorry, *African-American magic
WHY DEY DO DAT TO MUH SAIL FOAM CAIN BUHLEE DIS IS HAPNIN RIGH NAO SWEAH TO GAWD ON GAWD BRUH YAW BETTUH FIX MAH MUTHAFUCKIH iFOAM BITCH I'MA GITCHO ASS 
