[ Bell Clanging ]
Hi, babe.
- I have something for you.
- What is it?
-Just a little something.
- [ Laughing ]
Here you go.
Oh.Johnny, it's beautiful.
Thank you.
- You wait right here.
- Mmm.
- I'm gonna try it on right now.
- Mm-hmm.
[Johnny ]
Wow. You look so sexy, Lisa.
- Isn't it fabulous?
- I would do anything for my girl.
- Oh, hey, guys.
- Oh, hi, Denny.
- Wow. Look at you.
- It's from Johnny.
Anything for my princess.
[ Laughing ]
- How much was it?
- Denny, don't ask a question like that.
Nice to see you, Denny.
I'm going to take a nap.
- Can I go upstairs too?
- [ Laughs ]
- Denny, I think I'm gonna join him.
- [ Laughs ]
[ Lisa ]
I've got some candles upstairs.
You always think.
[ Laughs ]
All right. I'm ready.
[ Lisa ] This is so great.
I can't wait for you to get it off of me.
- [ Laughing ]
- [Johnny ] Oh,yeah.
- You're in for it.
- Oh,yeah.
How much you pay
for this dress?
Don't even ask.
[ Laughing ]
Ooh.
- Ouch.
- [Johnny Continues Laughing ]
- [ All Laughing ]
- [ Denny ] Stop.
Stop. No, stop.
Get up.
Denny, do you have
something else to do?
I just like
to watch you guys.
Oh, Denny, Denny.
Denny boy.
Denny, two's great,
but three is a crowd.
- I get it. You guys wanna be alone.
- That's the idea.
Fine. I have homework
to do anyway.
Bye, lovebirds.
- Bye, Denny.
- Bye, Denny.
- [ Laughing ]
- Come here.
Oh, Lisa, you know.
Oh, yeah.
- [ Chuckling ]
- [ Murmurs ]
'It'd be a shame '
'Living in this world without you '
' There's nothing
I wouldn't do for you '
' You are my fantasy dream
come true '
[ Laughing, Moaning ]
' When I see your face '
- 'It stirs up my emotions '
- [ Chattering ]
' Your style and grace '
'It inspires my devotion '
' There's nothing
I wouldn't do for you '
' You are my fantasy dream
come true '
' Oh, oh '
'And I will stand in the way
of a bullet '
'I will run through
a forest offlames '
'I will climb
the highest of mountains '
'Just to show you I love you
I will '
'I will stand in the way
of a bullet '
'I will run through
a forest offlames '
'I will climb
the highest of mountains '
'Just to show you I love you
I will '
'I will, I will '
'I will, I will '
'I will, I will '
'I will, I will '
'I will, I will '
'I will, I will '
'I will, I will '
'I will, I will '
[ Moaning ]
'And I will stand in the way
of a bullet '
'I will run through
a forest offlames '
'I will climb
the highest of mountains '
'Just to show you I love you
I will '
- 'I will stand in the way of a bullet ''
- [ Moaning ]
- [ Gasps ]
- [ Sighs ]
- Oh.
- Mm.
[ Murmuring ]
[ Alarm Clock Beeping ]
[ Alarm Clock Beeping ]
- [ Beeping Stops ]
- [ Moans ]
[ Sniffing ]
Did you like last night?
- Yes, I did.
- [ Laughs ]
Can I get you anything?
- Mm-mmm. I have to go now.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Hi, Mom. How are you?
I'm fine. How are you?
Hmm?
Okay. Let's go to the couch.
And we will sit down.
Now...
what's happening with you?
- Hmm?
- Nothin' much. Do you want some coffee?
What's wrong? Tell me.
I'm not feeling good today.
Well, why not?
I don't love him anymore.
Why don't you love him anymore?
Tell me.
He's so... boring.
You've known him
for over five years.
You're engaged.
You said you loved him.
He supports you.
He provides for you.
And, darling,
you can't support yourself.
He's a wonderful man,
and he loves you very much.
And his position is very secure.
And he told me
he plans to buy you a house.
That's why he's so boring.
- Well, what are you going to do?
- I don't know.
I don't mind living with him.
Well, you can't do that.
Have you talked to him about it?
No.
- I don't know what to do.
- He's a wonderful person.
And he's getting a promotion
very soon.
He bought you a car.
He bought you a ring, clothes-
whatever you wanted.
Now you wanna dump him.
That's not right.
I've always thought of him
as my son-in-law.
You should marryJohnny.
He would be good for you.
- I guess you're right about that.
- Of course I'm right.
I know men.
I wasn't born yesterday.
I'm glad you're listening
to your mother.
Nobody else listens to me.
You're probably right
about that, Mom.
Well, I'm glad you're
listening to your mother.
Listen, I've gotta go.
But you remember
what I told you, okay?
Mm-hmm.
- Bye-bye, now.
- [ Door Opens ]
[ Door Closes ]
Thanks, Mom.
[ Beeping, Line Ringing ]
- Hello?
- Hey, baby. How you doin'?
Oh, hey. How you doin'?
Yeah, I'm very busy. What's goin' on?
I just finished talking
to my mom.
She gave me this big lecture
aboutJohnny.
- We'll talk about it later. I told you I'm very busy.
- We'll talk about it now.
Whenever you say
we'll talk about it later, we never do.
I can't wait till later.
I wanna talk right now.
You owe me one anyway.
Okay. All right, what do you
want to talk about?
She's a stupid bitch.
She wants to control my life.
I'm not gonna put up with that.
I'm gonna do what I wanna do,
and that's it.
What do you think I should do?
Why do you ask me? You've been
very happy with Johnny.
What do you want me to say?
You should enjoy your life.
What's the problem?
Maybe you're right.
Can I see you tomorrow?
Okay. All right.
How about noon?
- I'll be waiting for you. Bye.
- All right, see ya.
[ Bell Clanging ]
[ Doorbell Rings ]
[ Doorbell Rings ]
- Hi. How you doin'?
- Hi. I'm fine. Come in.
Have a seat.
''[ Background ]
[ Wine Pouring ]
Thank you.
It's hot in here.
- Do you mind?
- No.
I mean, the candles...
the music, the sexy dress.
I mean, what's goin' on here?
I like you very much,
lover boy.
What are you doin' this for?
What's the matter?
Don't you like me?
I'm your girl.
Johnny's my best friend.
- You're gonna be married next month. Come on.
- [ Sighs ]
Forget... aboutJohnny.
This is between you... and me.
I don't think so.
I-I'm leaving now.
Please don't leave.
Please don't leave.
I need you. I love you.
I don't wanna get married anymore.
I don't loveJohnny.
I dream about you.
I need you
to make love to me.
I don't think so.
Everything's gonna be fine.
I promise.
Oh. Oh, yeah.
' Your touch '
'Pulling fire out of me '
' Your touch '
'Like a wave crashing on the sea '
' Your kiss '
'As gentle as a summer breeze '
- ' Your love is what I need to set me free '
- [ Moaning ]
'A rose '
'Is what '
' You are '
' To me '
' The smell '
' Of wonders '
' Oh, so sweet '
- ' You are '
- Oh, Lisa.
- 'A rose '
- 'A rose to me '
- ' To me, to me '
- ' To me '
- ' You are '
- ' You are '
- 'My rose '
- 'My rose, my rose '
- 'Baby '
- 'Baby, baby, baby '
- ' You are '
- ' You are '
- 'A rose '
- 'A rose '
'A rose to me '
- ' To me, to me '
- ' Yes,you are '
- ' You are '
- ' You are '
- 'My rose '
- 'My rose '
- 'Baby '
- 'Baby '
- 'Baby '
- ' Yes,you are '
Oh, yes.
' You are my rose
You are my rose '
' You are my rose '
' You are my rose
You are my rose '
' You are my rose '
' You are my rose
You are my rose '
' You are my rose '
' You are my rose
You are my rose '
' You are my rose ''
[ Sighs ]
God. Why did you do this to me?
[ Sighs ]
Why?
Johnny's my best friend.
Didn't you enjoy it?
That's not the point.
I love you, Mark.
Look, you're very attractive.
All right? You're beautiful.
But we can't do this anymore.
I can't hurtJohnny.
I know.
He's your best friend.
Hey. This'll be our secret.
Mmm.
- Hi.
- [ Woman ] Can I help you?
Yeah. Can I have
a dozen red roses, please?
Oh, hi,Johnny.
I didn't know it was you.
- Here you go.
- That's me. How much is it?
- It'll be $1 8.
- Here you go. Keep the change.
- Hi, doggy.
- You're my favorite customer.
- Thanks a lot. Bye.
- Bye-bye.
Yeah. Deliver it.
Yeah. Deliver it.
Half Canadian bacon with pineapple...
half artichoke with pesto,
and light on the cheese.
- Thanks.
- [ Beeps ]
- [ Doorbell Rings ]
- Who is it?
Denny.
Denny.
- Hey, Denny. How are you doing?
- I'm fine. What's new?
Actually, I'm really busy.
Do you want something to drink?
No, thanks.
I just wanna talk toJohnny.
You look beautiful today.
- Can I kiss you?
- You are such a little brat.
I'm just kidding.
I love you and Johnny.
Okay, okay.Johnny's gonna
be here any minute.
- You can wait if you want.
- Mm, I gotta go.
- You'll tell him I stopped by.
- Of course I will.
- Bye.
- Bye, Denny.
Hi, babe.
These are for you.
Thanks, honey.
They're beautiful.
- Did you get your promotion?
- Nah.
You didn't get it, did you?
That son of a bitch told me
that I would get it within three months.
I saved them bundles. They're crazy.
I don't think I will ever get it.
They betrayed me.
They didn't keep their promise.
They tricked me,
and I don't care anymore.
Did you tell them
how much you save them?
Of course. What do you think?
They already put my ideas into practice.
The bank saves money,
and they are using me. And I am the fool.
I still love you.
- You're the only one who does.
- At least you have friends.
I didn't get any calls today.
You're right. The computer business
is too competitive.
Do you want me
to order a pizza?
- Whatever. I don't care.
- I already ordered a pizza.
[ Chuckling ]
You think about everything.
What's the matter?
You all right?
It's just a lousy promotion.
You know what you need?
You need a drink.
I don't drink.
You know that.
[ Chuckles ]
Don't worry about it.
It's good for you.
You must be crazy.
I can't drink this.
If you love me,
you'll drink this.
[ Chuckles ]
You're right. It tastes good.
I know. I am right.
Don't worry about those fuckers.
You're a good man.
Drink, and let's have some fun.
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing ]
Mmm!
Oh!
[ Laughing ]
[ Glass Shatters ]
You have nice legs, Lisa.
[ Laughing ]
And you have nice pecs.
[ Laughing ]
I'm tired. I'm wasted.
I love you, darling.
- Come on. Make love to me.
- [ Groans ]
Come on. You owe me one.
I love you, Lisa.
I love you,Johnny.
[ Both Laughing ]
[ Moaning ]
- Mm.
- [ Chuckling ]
'I see you walkin'by,yeah '
'I hear your lullaby '
'It seems to reel me in '
' Yeah,yeah '
- ' You really got me good from '
- [ Moaning ]
'From just one little look now '
'All my mind can do is spin '
'I'm goin'crazy
crazy thinkin'about you '
' Crazy, so crazy about you '
- ' Crazy, wantin'you with me '
- [ Both Moaning ]
'I'm goin'crazy
crazy thinkin'about you '
' Crazy, so crazy about you '
'I need you here with me ''
'I need you here with me ''
So, I'm organizing a party
forJohnny's birthday.
- Can you come?
- [ Mother ] When is it?
Next Friday at 6:00.
It's a surprise.
- Oh.
- You can bring someone if you want.
Well, sure, I can come,
but I don't know if I'll bring anybody.
Oh, that jerk, Harold.
He wants me to give him
a share of my house.
That house belongs to me.
He has no right.
I am not giving him a penny.
- Who does he think he is?
- He's your brother.
He is always bugging me
about my house.
Fifteen years ago, we agreed
that house belongs to me.
Now the value of the house is going up,
and he's seeing dollar signs.
Everything goes wrong at once.
- Nobody wants to help me, and I'm dying.
- You're not dying, Mom.
I got the results of the test back.
I definitely have breast cancer.
Look, don't worry about it.
Everything will be fine.
- Mm.
- They're curing lots of people every day.
I'm sure I'll be all right.
Oh. I heard Edward
is talking about me.
He is a hateful man.
Oh, I'm so glad I divorced him.
Look, don't worry about it.
You just concentrate on getting well.
Well, at least you have a good man.
You're wrong.
Mom, he's not what you think he is.
He didn't get his promotion,
and he got drunk last night.
And he hit me.
Johnny doesn't drink.
What are you talking about?
He did last night,
and I don't love him anymore.
Johnny is your financial security.
You can't afford to ignore this.
Yeah, okay, Mom.
Can I just talk to you later?
You don't want to talk to me.
I just got done
talking with a client...
and I have to get ready
to meet him.
- Can I just talk to you later?
- Okay.
I will see you later.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
[ Door Opens, Closes ]
How much time do we have?
- I don't know. Uh, couple hours.
- [ Chuckling ]
At least.
Well, let's have some fun.
Did you, uh, know...
that chocolate
is the symbol of love?
[ Chuckling ]
Feed me.
Yum.
- That's delicious.
- [ Chuckling ]
Arms up.
Chocolate is a symbol of love.
- [ Door Opens ]
- Hello?
- [ Door Opens ]
- Hello?
- [ Lisa Laughing ]
- What are these characters doing here?
- They like to come here to do their homework.
- What homework?
Mom, this is Michelle's boyfriend, Mike.
Mike, this is my mother.
- It's a pleasure to meet you.
- Mm.
Uh-huh.
Oh.
[ Sighs ]
All that shopping wore me out.
- Hey, Lisa.
- Hey, Denny.
Denny, this is my mom.
Mom, this is Denny.
How many people come in
and out of this apartment every day?
This is worse
than Grand Central Station.
- I just need to borrow some sugar.
- Help yourself,Denny.
I also need a cup of flour
and a half a stick of butter.
- Doesn't your home have a kitchen?
- I'll come back later.
[ Door Closes ]
- Tell me, what does Denny do?
-Johnny wanted to adopt Denny.
It's really a tragedy how many kids
out there don't have parents.
When Denny turned 1 8,Johnny found him
a little apartment in this building...
and he's paying for it
until he graduates from school.
Johnny really loves Denny
even though he doesn't say it much.
He's, like, a father figure to him.
I told you, Mom.Johnny is very caring
about the people in his life.
And he gave Denny
his own set of keys to our place.
Please, don't hurtJohnny.
Now, if you really don't love him, so be it.
But you should tell him.
I forgot my, uh, book.
Oh! What-What's this?
- [ Both Laughing ]
- Oh. That's-That's nothing. Really.
- [ Laughing ]
- Homework. [ Sighs ]
Don't worry about it.
If I were a burglar,
you would be my best friend.
Look, I don't wanna
talk about it.
You know I worry about you.
- Oh. I have to go home.
- Okay, Mom.
- Bye-bye.
- [ Mouths Words ]
- [ Door Opens, Closes ]
- [ Sighs ]
Oh, my God.
Hey, Denny.
Chris-R.
I've been lookin' for you.
Yeah, sure you have.
You have my money, right?
Yeah. It's comin'.
It'll be here in a few minutes.
[ Basketball Bouncing ]
What do you mean
it's coming, Denny?
Where's... my money?
Okay.Just-
Just give me five minutes.
-Just give me five.
- Five minutes?
You want
five fuckin' minutes, Denny?
You know what?
I haven't got five fucking minutes!
[ Crying, Whimpering ]
I'm gonna ask you again, Denny.
- Where's my money?
- I don't have anything.
- Where's my money, Denny?
- [ Whimpering Continues ]
Where's my fucking money, Denny?
- What did you do with my fucking money?
- I swear to God. It's coming.
- Where's my fuckin' money, Denny?
- Put the gun down.!
My fucking money.!
Where's my fucking money, Denny?
What's with this guy?
Get off!.
- [ Shouting ]
- You're fuckin' dead, Denny!
- What's going on here? Somebody help!
- [ Shouting Continues ]
- Let's take him to the police.
- You're fucking dead!
Denny. Are you okay?
- What did that man want from you?
- Nothing.
Oh, that was not nothing.
- Tell me everything.
- You have no idea what kind of
trouble you're in here, do you?
- I owe him some money.
- What kind of money?
- I owe him some money.
- What kind of money?
- Everything is okay. He's gone.
- Everything is not okay.
- Denny, that is a dangerous man.
- [ Sobbing ]
Just calm down.
He's going to jail.
- Denny, what kind of money? Just tell me!
- What do you need money for?
Mom, please!
Denny's with me and Johnny!
A man like that, with a gun.
My God!
Denny, look at me in the eyes
and tell me the truth.
- We're your friends.
- I bought some drugs off of him.
- [ Mouthing Words ]
- Things got mixed up.
I didn't mean this to happen.
- [ Sobbing ] Denny!
- And I don't have them anymore.
- What kind of drugs, Denny?
- It doesn't matter. I don't have them anymore.
It doesn't matter? How in the hell
did you get involved with drugs?
Were you giving them to him?
Selling them to him?
-Where in the hell did you meet that man?
-What kind of drugs do you take?
- It's nothing like that.
- What the hell is wrong with you?
I just needed some money
to pay off some stuff.
How much do you
have to give him?
- This is not the way you make money.
- How much?
Stop ganging up on me!
Well, it is time somebody
ganged up on you. For God's sake!
A man like that! Where in the hell
did you meet a man like that?
- It doesn't matter.
- It matters a great deal.
A man holds a gun on you. You almost got killed.
You expect me to forget that?
You're not my fucking mother!
- You listen to me, little boy!
- No, no! No, don't!
Somebody had better
do something around here.
- [ Crying ]
- It's okay.
Are you okay, Denny?
- I'm okay. I'm okay.
- Are you okay?
What's okay?
He's taking drugs.
- Come on, stop. It was a mistake.
- A mistake. That he takes drugs.
- Let's go home.
- Come on. It's clear.
- What's clear? I am going to call the police.
- Mom, stop.
- It was Denny's mistake.Just stop.
- Let's go.
- Why did you do this? You know better, right?
- I'm sorry.
- Why?
- I'm sorry.
You know better, Denny.
You almost got killed.
- I'm sorry.
- [ Sighs ]
It won't happen again. I promise.
Denny, you know thatJohnny's
like your father.
And we're your friends.
We're gonna help you.
Let's go home.
[ Lisa ]
I miss you.
[ Lisa ]
I miss you.
I just saw you.
What are you talking about?
I just wanted to hear
your sexy voice.
I keep thinking about
your strong hands around my body.
It excites me so much.
I love you.
Is Johnny there?
He's... in the shower.
I don't understand you.
Why do you do things like this?
Because I love you.
You just don't care, do you?
No, I do care.
But we agreed.
It's over between us.
I understand.
It's our secret.
But I still have feelings for you.
- You just don't care.
- I do care.
I have to go now.
I'll see you later, darling.
- Don't call me that.
- Okay. Bye.
[ Phone Beeps ]
I did not hit her.
It's not true.
I did not hit her.
It's not true.
It's bullshit!
I did not hit her. I did not.
Oh, hi, Mark.
- Hey,Johnny. What's up?
- I have a problem with Lisa.
- She said that I hit her.
- [ Sighs ] What?
- Well, did you?
- No. It's not true. Don't even ask.
- What's new with you?
- I'm just sittin' up here thinkin', you know.
- I got a question for you.
- Yeah?
You think girls
like to cheat like guys do?
What makes you say that?
I don't know.
I'm just- I'm just thinkin'.
I don't have to worry about that,
because Lisa's loyal to me.
Yeah, man, you never know.
People are very strange these days.
I used to know a girl.
She had a dozen guys.
One of'em found out, beat her up so bad
she ended up in a hospital on Guerrero Street.
[ Laughing ]
What a story, Mark.
You can say that again.
I'm so happy I have you as my best friend,
and I love Lisa so much.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, you are very lucky.
Maybe you should have a girl, Mark.
Yeah. Yeah, maybe you're right.
Maybe I have one already.
I don't know yet.
What happened?
Remember Betty? That's her name?
- Betty?
- Yeah.
Yeah, we don't
see each other anymore.
She wasn't any good in bed. She was beautiful,
but we had too many arguments.
That's too bad.
My Lisa is great when I can get it.
Aw, man.
I just can't figure women out.
Sometimes they're just too smart.
Sometimes they're flat-out stupid.
Other times they're just evil.
It seems to me
like you're the expert, Mark.
No, definitely not an expert,Johnny.
What's bothering you, Mark?
- Nothin', man.
- Do you have some secrets?
- Forget it. Forget it, dude.
- Why don't you tell me?
- Is it some secret? Tell me.
- Forget it. I'll talk to you later.
Well, whatever.
- Hey,Johnny.
- Hi, Denny.
- What's wrong with Mark?
- He's cranky today. [ Laughing ]
Girl trouble, I guess.
- What's new with you?
- Not much.
- Still goin' to the movie tonight?
- Oh, sure. We are.
What kind of movie
are we gonna see?
Well, we'll see-
[ Clicks Tongue ]
Denny, don't plan too much.
It may not come out right.
All right.
Let's toss the ball around.
Okay.
Gotta tell you about somethin'.
Shoot, Denny.
- It's about Lisa.
- Go on.
She's beautiful.
She looks great in her red dress.
- I think I'm in love with her.
- Go on.
I know she doesn't like me,
because sometimes she's mean to me.
But sometimes,
when I'm around her...
I feel like wantin' to kiss her
and tell her that I love her.
I don't know.
I'm just confused.
[ Clicks Tongue ]
Denny, don't worry about that.
Lisa loves you, too, as a person...
as a human being, as a friend.
You know,
people don't have to say it.
They can feel it.
What do you mean?
You can love someone
deep inside your heart...
and there is nothing
wrong with it.
If a lot of people
loved each other...
the world would be
a better place to live.
- Lisa's your future wife.
- Denny, don't worry about it.
You are part of our family,
and we love you very much.
And we'll help you anytime.
And Lisa loves you, too,
as a friend.
You are sort of like her son.
You mean you're not upset
with me?
No, because I trust you,
and I trust Lisa.
- What about Elizabeth, huh?
- Well-
- I love her.
- Mm-hmm.
When I graduate from college,
get a good job...
I wanna marry her
and have kids with her.
- That's the idea.
- You're right.
Thanks for paying my tuition.
You're very welcome, Denny,
and keep in mind...
if you have any problems,
talk to me, and I will help you.
- Awesome. Thanks,Johnny.
- Let's go eat, huh?
- Come on. Let's go.
- [ Chuckles ]
- Let's go, huh? I'm starving.
- [ Chattering ]
So, how's Johnny?
So, how's Johnny?
- He didn't get his promotion.
- Oh. Is he disappointed?
Quite a bit.
He got drunk last night.
- [ Sighs ] And he hit me.
- He hit you?
He didn't know
what he was doing.
Are you okay?
- Well, I don't wanna marry him anymore.
- What?
Johnny's... okay,
but I found somebody else.
[ Chuckles ]
Lisa. This isn't right.
You're living with one guy,
and you're sleeping with another guy?
I'm doing what I wanna do.
Well, who is he?
His best friend.
And he lives in this building.
I can't believe
you're telling me this.
It's Mark, isn't it?
[ Exclaims ]
Lisa, you know what?
You're just thinking about yourself.
Somebody's gonna get hurt.
You've gotta be honest with Johnny.
I can't do that.
He would be devastated.
If you care so much for him,
why cheat on him?
Look, I really don't know
what to do.
I love Mark.
I don't have any more feelings
forJohnny.
[ Sighs ] Johnny is so excited
about this wedding.
- I know.
- You've got to tellJohnny.
No guilt trips.
You don't feel guilty
about this at all?
No. I'm happy.
[ Sighs ]
Something awful is gonna happen.
Please don't tell anybody.
[ Sighs ]
Don't worry. You can trust me.
Don't worry. You can trust me.
- [ Door Opens ]
- Your secret is safe with me.
Hello, Michelle. I heard you.
What secret?
- It's between us women.
- Hi,Johnny.
Did you get a new dress?
Um, well,
I guess I'd better be going.
Uh, I'll just
talk to you guys later?
Excuse me.
Lisa, remember what I told you.
[ Mouths Words ]
[ Door Closes ]
- What's she talking about?
- It's girl talk. I just told you that.
I never hit you.
You shouldn't have any secrets from me.
I'm your future husband.
You sure about that?
Maybe I'll change my mind.
- Don't talk like that. What do you mean?
- What do you think?
Women change their minds
all the time.
[ Laughing ]
You must be kidding, aren't you?
I don't wanna talk about it.
I'm gonna go upstairs
and wash up and go to bed.
How dare you
talk to me like that?
- You should tell me everything.
- I can't talk right now.
Why, Lisa? Why, Lisa?
Please talk to me.
Please!
You're part of my life.
You're everything.
I could not go on
without you, Lisa.
You're scaring me.
You are lying!
I never hit you!
You are tearing me apart, Lisa!
- Why are you so hysterical?
- Do you understand life?
Do you?
Don't worry about it.
Everything will be all right.
You drive me crazy.
Good night,Johnny.
Don't worry about it.
I still love you.
Good night, Lisa.
- Hey,Johnny. What's goin'on, man?
- Hi, Mike. What's new?
- Hey,Johnny. What's goin'on, man?
- Hi, Mike. What's new?
- How you doing?
- Um, actually,Johnny...
- I- I got a little bit of a tragedy on my hands.
- Uh-huh.
Yeah. Me and Michelle,
we were-we were makin' out.
Uh, at your place.
- [ Chuckles ]
- And, uh, Lisa and Claudette sort of,uh...
walked in on us
in the middle of it.
- That's not the end of the story.
- Go on. I'm listening.
We're goin' at it, and, um,
I get out of there as fast as possible.
I get my pants, I get my shirt,
and I get outta there.
Then about halfway down the stairs,
I realize that I-
I have misplaced-
I've forgotten something.
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh, my underwear.
- [ Laughing ] I know.
- So, I come back to get it,
and I pretend I need a book.
I'm lookin' for my book. I reach in,
put the underwear in my pocket...
and sort of slide out real quick.
Claudette- She saw it
sticking out of my pocket.
She pulls it out, and
she's showing everybody me underwears.
You must be kidding.
Underwear- I got the picture.
- Yeah. I don't know what-
- That's life.
- Hey,Johnny. Hey, Mike.
- Oh, hey, Denny.
- What's up, buddy?
- Wanna play some football?
I gotta go see Michelle in a little bit
to make out with her.
- I'm sorry.
- Come on.
- Come on. Football.
- You think I'm-All right. Whatever.
- Let's go for it.
- I'm goin' out.
- All right.
- Yeah. Sorry you had to see that.
- I'm not sorry.
- [ Laughing ]
- Your turn. Almost as much as I was.
- Studying, right?
- Come on, guys.
- I don't study like that.
- He doesn't.
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Yawns ]
- Denny, what's up?
- What's up, Mark?
- Hi, Mark.
- Catch it.
- Not too much. What about you guys?
- Uh-
- [ Denny ] He's just tellin'us
about an underwear issue.
- Dude, it's-
- Underwear? What's that?
- It's embarrassing, man. I don't wanna get into it.
- Underwear, man?
- [ Grunts ]
- You okay?
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- You sure?
- Uh-huh.
- Do you want to see a doctor?
- No. No, no, no.
I'm good.
I'm all right. I'm fine.
- I'll take him home.
- Why don't you take him home?
Mike, listen. If you need anything,
call me. Anytime, all right?
- You gonna be all right?
- Yeah.
- See you guys.
- See you guys.
[ Sighs ]
Let's go home, Denny.
You look really tired today, Mom.
Are you feeling okay?
- I didn't get much sleep last night.
- Why not? What's wrong?
- You remember my friend, Shirley Hamilton?
- Uh-huh.
She wants to buy a new house...
and so I asked Johnny if he could
help her with the down payment.
All he can tell me is,
""It's an awkward situation.''
I expected your husband
to be a little more generous.
- He's not my husband.
- I know.
ButJohnny is part of our family.
Mom, I don't loveJohnny anymore.
Ohh.
[ Sighs ]
I don't even like him.
- I had sex with someone else.
- You can't be serious.
- You don't understand.
- Who?
Who is it?
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- You don't want to talk about it.
- Then why did you bring it up in the first place?
- I don't know.
You don't know.
If you think I'm tired today,
wait till you see me tomorrow.
Coming to the party?
Sure. I suppose so.
How can they say this about me?
How can they say this about me?
I don't believe it.
I'll show them.
I'll record everything.
I don't understand women.
Do you, Peter?
What man does?
- What's the problem?
- They never say what they mean.
And they always play games.
Okay, um, what do you mean?
I have a serious problem with Lisa.
Um, I don't think she's faithful to me.
In fact, I know she isn't.
Lisa? Are you sure?
Yeah, I'm sure. I overheard a conversation
between Lisa and her mother.
What should I do, Peter?
- This is Lisa we're talking about?
- Yeah.
- I don't know what to say.
- But you are a psychologist.
Do you have some advice?
It's a complicated situation,Johnny.
I mean, you're my friend, and I don't
wanna get between you and Lisa.
But look, if you want to,
you should confront her.
I can't confront her.
I want to give her a second chance.
After all, she's my future wife.
You know what they say-
Love is blind.
You got a lot of faith in Lisa.
Sometimes life gets complicated.
The unexpected can happen.
- When it does, you just gotta deal with it.
- [ Doorbell Rings ]
Did you hear the door?
Yeah. I did.
- Oh, hi, Mark. Come in.
- Oh, hey,Johnny.
Hey, Peter.
We're just talking about women.
Women, man.
Women just confuse me.
[ Sighs ]
I have a girl, but she's married.
She's very attractive.
It's just- It's driving me crazy.
Why didn't you mention this before?
Is it anyone I know?
- No, man. You don't know her.
- Can I meet her?
I don't think so.
It's an awkward situation.
You mean she's too old, or you think
I would take her away from you?
- [ Chuckles ]
- Huh?
No.
I have my own problems.
Tell me about your problems,Johnny.
Peter, you always
play psychologist with us.
Look, I'm just your friend,
and I'm just worried about you.
Lisa's teasing me about whether
we are going to get married or not.
And we didn't make love
in a while...
and I don't know what to do.
[ Peter ]
You never really know. I mean-
Look, you should tell her
about your feelings. Okay?
You shouldn't hide 'em.
You two have been together forever.
- You can work out anything
as long as you talk about it.
- Not always.
People are people. Sometimes
they just can't see their own faults.
I'm thinking of moving to a bigger place,
man. I'm making some good money.
You should tell her the truth.
You're doing this for your girl, right?
You're right, Peter.
[ Laughs ]
- Is she getting a divorce, Mark?
- You guys are too much.
Hey, are you running
Bay to Breakers this year?
- I am, sure.
- No, I'm not doing it this year.
[ Laughs ] Chicken, Peter.!
You'rejust a little chicken.!
Cheep!
Cheep-cheep-cheep cheep!
- [ Continues Mocking ]
- Who are you calling a chicken?
I just don't like all the weirdos.
There's too many weirdos there.
I-I-I don't mind.
Mark, do you remember the one
with the big tits? The blondie one?
- How about the one with the
bridal gown, with the sign?
- Oh, yeah- ""Can you marry me?''
[ Laughs ] I thought I would
take her up on it.
- I never ate so much.
- The barbecue chicken was delicious.
Rice. That was cool.
You guys prove my point-
You're both weird.
You guys wanna play cards?
No, we can't.
I expect Lisa any minute.
Come on, man.
Who's the king of the house?
You gotta establish these guidelines
before you get married.
How did you ever meet Lisa?
You never told us.
That's a very interesting story.
When I moved to San Francisco
with two suitcases, I didn't know anyone.
I have- I hit Y.M.C.A....
with a $2,000 check
which I couldn't cash.
- Why not?
- Well, because it was an out-of-state bank.
Anyway, I was working
as a busboy in a hotel...
and, uh-
uh, she was sitting...
drinking her coffee.
She was so beautiful.
And I say ""Hi'' to her.
That's how we met.
So, what's the interesting part?
Well, the interesting part is
that on our first date, she paid for dinner.
- What? No tips from your job?
- Whatever.
Do you guys
wanna eat something?
Hey, guys. What's going on?
- Oh, hey, Lisa.
- Hi, Lisa.
- Where's Johnny?
- In the kitchen.
I gotta go.
I didn't mean to chase you off.
Wish you'd stick around for a while.
I gotta work early.
See ya.
- Did you get your wedding gown yet?
- No. I've got plenty of time.
Are you sure you have plenty of time?
It's only a month away.
It'll be fine.
What are you so worried about?
Everything's okay.
Johnny doesn't seem very excited.
Is there a problem?
There's no problem.
Why do you ask?
I just want you and Johnny
to be happy.
I am happy.
Look, Denny, I need to talk toJohnny.
Okay? I'll see you later.
- Okay. Tell him I said hello?
- Yeah.
Hey, Mark. What's up?
Oh, hey, Peter.
It's a good place
to think up here, isn't it?
What, man?
You wanna put me on the clock?
What the hell is that?
You want some?
It's good, bro.
You know I don't smoke that stuff.
[ Sighs ]
You look depressed.
I got this sick feeling
in my stomach, man.
I did something awful.
I don't think I can forgive myself.
Tell me about it.
I just feel like-
like running...
killing myself.
Something crazy like that.
Why are you
smoking that crap?
It's no wonder you can't think straight.
It's gonna screw with your head.
It's none of your business, man.
You think you know everything.
- You don't know shit.
- Wait a second. Who do you think you are?
You're acting like a kid.
Just grow up.
Who you calling a kid?
Fuck you!
Just chill out, Mark.
I'm just trying to help.
You're having an affair with Lisa,
aren't you?
- Am I wrong?
- What?
What are you, nuts?
[ Grunts ]
Sorry.
I'm sorry, man.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Let's just talk
about your problem.
- You sure you're okay?
- Yeah.
Goddamn it, man. Fuck!
Why do you want
to know my secret, man?
Well, you're right.
It's Lisa.
I don't know what to do, man.
I'm so depressed. It's all her fault.
She's such a manipulative bitch!
- How the hell did you let this happen?
- Fuck!
You know this is gonna ruin
your friendship with Johnny.
What were you thinking?
All right,you want my advice?
Sometimes life can get complicated...
and you've gotta be responsible.
So you don't see Lisa again, and you
definitely don't sleep with her again.
Just find yourself another girl.
She's a sociopath.
She only cares about herself.
She can't love anyone.
Whatever, Peter. Come on.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah. Thanks a lot.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah. Thanks a lot.
Oh, hi, Denny.
Nice tux!
You look great!
- You look really handsome.
- [ Laughs ]
- Your wedding picture's gonna look great.
- Oh, thanks.
[ Doorbell Rings ]
Hey, Peter. Come on in.
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, Peter. Come in.
- You look good too.
- Sit down.
[ Doorbell Rings ]
- Whoa!
- [Johnny ] Whoa.!
Hey, guys.
- You like it?
- Yeah. It looks good.
You look great.
You look like a baby-face now.
You guys
wanna play some football?
In tuxes? No.
You gotta be kidding.
- Come on, Mark. Let's do it.
- I'm up for it.
- [ Laughs ]
-Johnny?
- Ask Peter.
- Come on, Peter!
- No, I don't think so.
- Please?
- Nope.
- Come on!
- No.
- [ All ] Cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep!
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
Catch,Johnny! Whoo!
Yeah! Nice snag!
All right, Peter!
Here we go, Mark!
Come on! Come on!
Come on!
- Ohh!
- Yeah!
- Catch, Mark!
- Go.
Go deep!
[ Grunts ]
Gee, Peter, you're clumsy.
All right, that's it. I'm done.
Great idea, Denny.
[ Groans ]
[ Woman ] I'm gonna get
a slice of cheesecake and a bottle of water.
I'll have a large peanut butter whip
with extra whipped cream, please.
- All right.
- And I'll take some cheesecake and a coffee.
Okay. Have a seat.
We'll have that right out for you.
Hi. How you doing?
What would you like?
- Can I get a bagel and an Americana?
- Great. Sure.
I'm gonna get a slice of cheesecake
and a bottle of water.
Sounds good. Have a seat.
We'll have that right out for you.
- Hi, Susan.
- Hi,Johnny. How are you?
- Good to see you. What would you like?
- Hot chocolate, please.
- What size?
- Medium, please.
- How about you?
- I'll have the mint tea.
- Medium also?
- Yeah.
Go sit down.
We'll be right there.
I'm so tired of girls' games.
What happened now, Mark?
Relationships never work.
I don't know why I waste my time.
What makes you say that?
It's not that easy,Johnny.
Well, you should be happy, Mark.
Yeah, I know. Life is too short.
- Oh, thank you, Susan.
- You're welcome.
How 'bout somethin'
like cheesecake?
- No.
- Not today.
It's real good. All right.
- How was work today?
- Oh, pretty good.
We got a new client,
and the bank will make a lot of money.
- What client?
- I cannot tell you. It's confidential.
- Aw, come on. Why not?
- No, I can't.
Anyway, how's your sex life?
I can't talk about it.
Why not?
- [ Susan ] Take your time.
- Oh, God, I have to run.
- Already?
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
- It's on me.
- See you, Mark.
- You wanna go jogging?
- Sure. What time?
- Golden Gate Park, 6:30.
- Right on.
- All right? See ya.
- Okeydokey, pal.
What's going on here?
I like you very much, Mark.
Come on.
Johnny's my best friend.
Just one more time.
[ Giggles ]
[ Moaning ]
[ Laughs ]
''[ Women Vocalizing ]
[ Woman ]
'I couldn't picture '
'Spending life with anyone but you '
'And we wouldn't be here '
'If it weren't for all the things
we've been through '
'And my heart wouldn't beat if '
Oh, yeah.
'If you didn't come and save me '
' With your love '
' You are the reason I breathe '
' You are my everything '
'In your eyes I can see '
'Baby,you are the one for me '
- [ Moaning Continues ]
- [ Man ] 'I can't imagine '
'Sharing love with no one
in this world but you '
'It's so exciting '
' When you're here with me '
'And I am here with you '
'My heart couldn't beat if '
'If it wasn't for
your warm and tender touch '
' You are the reason I breathe '
' You are my everything '
'In your eyes I can see '
'Baby,you are the one for me '
[ Woman ]
'Even though at times '
'It's been hard '
' We've conquered winds and storms '
[ Man ]
'And our hearts will always be one '
[ Together ]
' Until the very end '
' Very end '
' Ohh '
' You are the reason I breathe '
' You are my everything '
'In your eyes I can see '
'Baby,you are the one for me '
' You are the reason I breathe ''
''[ Fades ]
- Hey.
- Hey,Johnny. How's it going?
Really good.
[ Chattering ]
- What's going on,Johnny?
- Not much.
- [ Chattering ]
- Oh, yeah!
Throw it, dude.
Throw it.
- What's new with you, man?
- Not much, man.
- Catch this!
- All right!
Whoo-hoo!
Whee! Ooh-whee!
Boom!
Oh! Oh, yeah!
Catch this,Johnny!
[ Both Chattering ]
Right on, man.
- What's new with you, man?
- I'm doin'good.
- How's your work?
- Things are good.
Try and catch me!
Come on- Ohh!
[Johnny ]
Ha-ha! I got you!
- Oh, man!
- There you go!
- [ Doorbell Rings ]
- Who is it?
[ Mark ]
Delivery man.
It's me, Lisa.
Come on. Open up.
Come on in.
Hey, Mark.
Wow. So, uh,
you gonna be ready?
How do you mean that?
I'm always ready... for you.
I mean for the party.
We have plenty of time.
All I have to do
is put on my party dress.
- Come on.
- What are you doing?
Nothing.
You're so beautiful.
[ Banging On Door ]
- Hurry up. I have to open the door.
- Wait! Hang on. Hang on.
Come on in. It's open.
Hi!
[ Chuckles ]
I brought the stuff.
I knew I could count on you.
Hi, Mark. X-Y-Z.
What are you talking about?
- Examine your zipper.
- [ Giggles ]
You guys are too much.
So, what can I do to help?
I gotta go.
[ Both Giggling ]
- Come on and help me move the coffee table.
- Okay.
What was he doing here?
Ah, he just brought by
some take-out.
What about his zipper?
What about his zipper?
Leave him alone.
He's a good guy.
Did you tellJohnny yet?
[ Sighs ]
No. Mark's his best friend.
Tricky, tricky.
You know,
I really loved Johnny at first.
Everything's changed.
I need more from life
than whatJohnny can give me.
Suddenly my eyes
are wide open...
and I can see everything so clearly.
I want it all.
You think you can
get it all from Mark?
If he can't give me what I want,
somebody else will.
Lisa, you're sounding
just like your mother.
You're being so manipulative.
So what? You can
learn something from me.
You have to take
as much as you can.
You have to live, live, live.
Don't worry about me.
I have everything covered.
Your point of view
is so different from mine.
Look, I don't wanna talk about it.
People are gonna be getting here soon,
and we have to finish.
Lisa.
I don't see what the big deal is.
Doesn't everybody
look out for number one?
Don't I deserve the best?
I couldn't do that.
You're too much for me, Lisa.
You know, you're not
such an angel yourself.
- Yeah, but we're not talking about me, are we?
- [ Both Giggling ]
Stop it!
Are you trying to ruin my party?
[ Giggling Continues ]
- Live fast, die young, man.
- Yeah, you're right.
- Live fast, die young, man.
- Yeah, you're right.
- Yeah. That's the idea.
- Yeah!
[ Grunting, Panting ]
Catch me! Come on!
I'm looking at this property
in Sausalito.
How are the loans like these days?
Pretty good. Yeah.
You'll be qualified.
- You serious?
- Yeah, I'm sure.
- When can we meet about that?
- We can talk about this tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
- Yeah.
- I can come in, like, in the late afternoon?
- Absolutely. 8:00?
Really? Right on. That's great.
Bye, Lisa.
Oh, hi, Claudette.
- Oh!
- Bye!
- Uh-huh!
- Hello, Mom. How are you?
I'm okay. How are you?
I'm fixing the apartment forJohnny's birthday,
but I'm really not into it.
Oh? Why not?
'Cause I'm in love with Mark,
notJohnny.
And here I am planning his party.
It's not right, Lisa.
I still think
you should marryJohnny.
Now,you can't live on love.
You need financial security.
But I'm not happy.
He still thinks
I'm gonna marry him next month.
He's a fool.
You expect to be happy.
I haven't been happy
since I married my first husband.
I didn't even want
to marry your father.
You never told me that.
Well, it's true.
All men are assholes.
Men and women use and abuse each other
all the time. There's nothing wrong with it.
Marriage has nothing
to do with love.
Johnny's okay, I suppose.
Actually...
I have him wrapped
around my little finger.
You should be happy then.
- But I don't love him.
- [ Sighs ]
Don't throw your life away
just because you don't love him.
That's ridiculous!
You need to grow up,
and you need to listen to me.
Okay.
Mom, I'll see you at the party.
- I just need to be alone right now.
- Mmm.
Bye-bye, my precious.
[ Door Opens, Closes ]
[ All ]
Surprise!
[ Laughing ]
Happy birthday to you
- Happy birthday to you
- Hey. Oh, wow!
Happy birthday, dearJohnny
Wow. All right.
Thank you, thank you.
- Happy birthday to you
- All right, I'm blushing.
[ Cheering, Chattering ]
- Cheers!
- Happy birthday!
Thank you.
You guys pre- Hey!
- So, were you surprised?
- Yeah, I'm surprised. That's right.
- Well-
- [ Chattering Continues ]
Thanks a lot again.
Thank you. Thanks. Hey!
- Wanna drink this one?
- [ Mutters ]
Yeah, later. Later.
- Later?
- Yes.
- ''[ Rock ]
- [ Chattering Continues ]
[ Chattering ]
That's, like, the third time
you've told me that joke tonight.
Now, listen, have you given
any more thought to-
[ Laughing ]
- I know you think I'm awfully bold-
- No, it's okay.
Well,you know,
I don't want to be a pest...
but we have to help her.
Oh, yeah. [ Laughs ]
Yeah.
I'm just f-
[ Laughs ]
[ Giggles ]
Okay.
[ Claudette ]
That's what friends are for.
[ Claudette Continues, Indistinct ]
[ Claudette ]
It's up to us, as her friends...
to give her a little boost
when she needs it.
That's all I had to say.
One of my little speeches.
[ Laughs ]
Hey, everybody,
let's go outside for some fresh air.
[ Guests ]
Yeah.! Yeah.!
Yeah.
Wait.
I have something
I wanna show you.
Oh, really?
So, uh, what do you
want to show me?
It's a surprise.
What are you doing?
Are you crazy? Everybody's here.
No, they're not.
They're all outside.
[ Giggles ]
You devil.
You planned this all along.
What's going on here?
Why are you doing this?
I love him.
I don't believe it.
You don't understand anything.
Leave your stupid comments
in your pocket!
Do you understand
what you're doing?
You're going to destroyJohnny.
He's very sensitive.
I don't care.
I'm in love with Mark.
How can you do this?
You make me sick.
- [ Laughing ]
- Hey!
Thank you, honey.
This is a beautiful party.
You invited all my friends.
Good thinking!
You're welcome, darling.
- You know how much I love you.
- I do.
[ Chuckles ]
It's getting really hot in here.
- Why don't we go back outside.
- Uh-huh.
Okay.
[Johnny Chuckles ]
[ Chattering, Laughing ]
Hey, everybody!
I have an announcement to make!
- We're expecting!
- [ Chattering, Exclaiming ]
That's great!
Hey! Thank you.
Lisa, I have to talk to you.
You have got to be honest
with Johnny.
I agree with that.
Look, I'm gonna tell him. Okay?
I just- I don't want
to ruin his birthday.
When is the baby due?
- There is no baby.
- What?
- What?
W-What are you talking about?
[ Sighs ]
I told him that
to make it interesting.
We're probably gonna
have a baby eventually anyway.
You're not gonna tellJohnny,
are you?
Lisa, are you feeling okay?
Because this is just
getting worse and worse.
I feel like I'm sitting on an atomic bomb,
waiting for it to go off.
Me too. I mean,
there's no simple solution to this.
Don't worry. You guys worry
entirely too much about me.
We're not worried about you.
We're worried aboutJohnny.
You don't understand the psychological impact
of what you're doing here.
You're hurting yourself.
You're hurting our friendship.
I am not responsible forJohnny.
I'm through with that.
I'm changing.
I have the right, don't I?
People are changing all the time.
I have to think about my future.
What's it to you?
This is going to pull us all down.
It's gonna shake up
our group of friends.
It's gonna destroy our friendship, Lisa.
I don't think Mark really loves you.
I don't wanna talk about it!
Lisa, you're gonna have to face it.
I, for one, am gonna have a hard time
forgiving you if you don't.
Hey, everybody!
Let's go inside and eat some cake!
- That's a good idea.!
- [ Guests Chattering, Exclaiming ]
I don't understand you, Lisa.
[ Sighs ]
- Mmm!
- Mm-hmm.
- Mmm!
- Mm-hmm.
- Lisa looks hot tonight.
- What do you mean, ""hot''?
- Sorry about what happened.
- That's all right, darling.
I'll- I'll help.
Whose baby is it?
Is it mine?
No, of course not.
- How can you be sure?
-Just stop asking me stupid questions.
- Who the hell do you think you are?
-Just shut up!
What are you doing?
What's going on here?
- You really don't know, do you?
- Maybe I know more than you think I do, Mark.
- Shit! All right?
- What do you want from me?
Huh?
Stop! Stop! Stop it!
All right. All right!
Okay, folks everything is fine.
The fight is over.
I'm sorry, Mark.
Yeah. Me too.
Lisa, can-
Can you clean up here, please?
[ Exhales ]
What are you doing?
None of your business.
- You're my future wife. What are you doing, Lisa?
- Leave her alone, man.
- She doesn't want to talk to you.
- Since when do you give me orders?
- Since Lisa changed her mind about you.
- [ Scoffs ]
Wake up, man!
What planet are you on?
I think you should
leave right now.
Don't spoil it.
We were just having fun.
Don't worry about it, man.
Don't touch me, motherfucker.
Get out.
- Stop it! Stop it!
- Leave my girl alone!
You two are acting like children.
- Son of a bitch.
- You're gonna ruin the party.
If you'd keep your girl satisfied,
she wouldn't come to me.
Get out of my house.
I'll kill you!
I'll break every bone
in your body.!
- Stop it!
- I'll kill you, you bastard!
- You couldn't kill me if you tried.!
- You betrayed me!
You're not good. You'rejust a chicken.
Cheep-cheep-cheep.!
-Johnny, chill out! It's over!
- Shut up!
- Cool it! It's over!
- Shut up!
It's not over.! Everybody betrayed me.!
I'm fed up with this world.!
I cleaned up the kitchen,
sweetheart...
so you don't have
to worry about that.
He still won't come
out of the bathroom.
Sweetheart, he's upset.
Now,Johnny is a sensible man.
He will come out. You will discuss this.
Everything is going to be okay.
I just think I should be
alone with him right now.
I understand, sweetheart.
I'm going to go home now.
- Bye-bye. You call me if you need me.
- I will.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Mm-hmm!
You can come out now,Johnny.
She's gone.
In a few minutes, bitch.
Who are you calling a bitch?
You and your stupid mother.
[ Beeping ]
[ Line Rings ]
- Hello?
- Hi, Mark.
I need to talk to you.
- What's going on?
- Don't worry aboutJohnny.
He's just being a big baby.
You know,
I love you very much.
I love you.
Why don't you
ditch this creep?
I don't like him anymore.
I know. He's not worth it.
Why don't I come up there
and be with you?
Sure, baby. Come on up.
I want your body.
You got it.
- I'm on my way. Bye.
- Bye.
Who were you talking to?
- Nobody.
- We'll see about that.
We'll see about that.
[ Mark ]
Hello?
[ Lisa ]
Hi, Mark. I need to talk to you.
[ Mark ]
What's going on?
[ Lisa ] Don't worry aboutJohnny.
He's just being a big baby.
You know,
I love you very much.
You're the sparkle of my life.
I can't live without you. I love you.
You little tramp.
How could you do this to me?
I gave you
seven years of my life...
and you betray me.
- We'll see what else we have on this tape.
- No! Stop.
You little prick.
I put up with you for seven years.
You think you're an angel.
You're just like everybody.
I treat you like a princess,
and you stab me in the back.
I love you, and I did anything for you
to just please you.
And now you betray me!
How could you love him?
- [""Play'"Button Clicks ]
- [ Mark ] Why don't you just ditch this creep?
I don't like him anymore.
[ Lisa ]
I know. He's not worth it.
Why don't I come up there
and be with you?
[ Mark ]
Sure, baby. Come on up.
I want your body.
- [ Lisa ] You got it.
- [ Screams ]
Everybody betrayed me.
I don't have a friend in the world.
I'm leaving you,Johnny.
Get out. Get out!
Get out of my life!
[ Shouts ]
[ Shouts ]
Why, Lisa? Why? Why?
[Johnny Continues Shouting ]
You bitch!
[ Shouts ]
[ Shouting Continues ]
You bitch! You bitch!
Screw the whole world!
I don't need them!
[ Grunting ]
[ Cries ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Moaning ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Shouting ]
You little tramp.
[ Grunting Continues ]
- I put up with you-
- [ Grunts ]
[ Groans ]
Why? Why is this
happening to me? Why?
It's over.
God, forgive me.
Everything'll be all right.
[ Hammer Clicks ]
Good night,Johnny.
[ Gunshot Echoing ]
Wake up,Johnny!
Come on!
Is he dead?
[ Sobbing ]
My God. Mark, is he dead?
[ Gasps ]
Yes, he's dead.
Yes, he's dead!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
I've lost him,
but I still have you. Right?
Right?
You don't have me.
You'll never have me.
You killed him.
Mark, we're free to be together.
I love you.
I love you.
You tramp.
You killed him.
You're the cause of all of this.
I don't love you.
Get out of my life, you bitch!
- What's happening?
- Don't look, Denny.
Johnny's dead!
[ Whimpering ]
Wake up,Johnny! Please!
Please! It's not right!
It's not right.
[ Sobbing ]
Denny, he's in a better place.
Leave us!
Both of you leave.
As far as I'm concerned,you can
drop off the earth. That's a promise.
Just leave! Both of you!
Leave him, all right?
Let him be with him!
Why,Johnny?
Why? Johnny, why?
Why?
[ Denny Sobbing ]
[ Sirens Wailing ]
[ Sirens Continue Wailing ]
[ Denny, Lisa Sobbing ]
- [ Woman ] What's happened?
- [ Man ] Is everything okay?
- [ Sirens Grow Louder ]
- [ Woman ] I heard a shot.
- [ Man ] Someone fired a gun. I smell smoke.
- [ Woman ] What's going on?
[ Chattering Continues ]
[ Woman ]
Call 9 1 1.
[ Woman ]
Is everyone okay?
[ Sirens Continue Wailing, Stop ]
[ Chatter On Ambulance Radio ]
' Your touch '
'Pulling fire out of me '
' Your touch '
'Like a wave crashing on the sea '
' Your kiss '
'As gentle as a summer breeze '
' Your love '
'Is what I need to set me free '
'A rose '
'Is what '
' You are '
' To me '
' The smell '
' Of wonders '
' Oh, so sweet '
- ' You are '
- ' You are '
- 'A rose '
- 'A rose '
- ' To me '
- ' To me '
- ' To me '
- ' To me '
- ' You are '
- ' You are '
- 'My rose '
- 'My rose, my rose '
- 'Baby '
- 'Baby, baby '
' Yeah, baby '
- ' You are '
- ' You are '
- 'A rose '
- 'A rose '
- ' To me '
- ' To me, to me '
- ' Yes,you are Yes,you are '
- ' To me '
- ' You are '
- ' You are '
- 'My rose '
- 'My rose '
- 'Baby '
- 'Baby, baby '
' You are my rose
You are my rose '
' You are my rose '
' You are my rose
You are my rose '
' You are my rose '
' You are my rose
You are my rose '
' You are my rose ''
the world we live in. it's so... wonderous. mysterious. even magical. no... no no no.. not that world. i meant this one. the smartphone. each system and program app is it's own little planet of perfect. technology. all providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. look who just sent me a text! addie mccallister? it must be a mistake. or a joke. or a scam! don't send her your social security number. she's right there! that's our user, alex. and, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. and, because the pace of life gets, faster and faster... phones down in five. and attention spans get shorter and shorter... and... you're probably not even listening to me right now. who has the time to type out actual words? and that's where we come in. the most important invention in the history of communication! emo gees. that's my home! textopolis. here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. christmas tree just has to stand there, all festive. merry christmas! it's still september, tim! and princesses... i am so pretty. they just gotta wear their crowns and keep their hair comb. we are so pretty. devil, poop, thumbs up, they just show up and they're good to go. but for the faces, the pressure is on. cryer always has to cry, even if he just won the lottery. hurray, i'm a millionaire! laugher's always laughing, even if he's just broken his arm. ahh!! ah! i can see the bone!! ah ah ah ah ah... and me, i'm a meh. so i gotta totally be over it all the time, you know? like meh, who cares. which is not as easy as it sounds. i gotta be mehhhhhhhhh i GOTTA! be! mehhhhhhhhh morning misses D, i see you have the little minis with ya! oh, they're so... cute! NYAH, SO ADORABLE, I CAN'T TAKE IT! I WILL NEVER GET THEM TO SLEEP! STICK TO YOUR ONE FACE, WEIRDO. OLE! OLE! OH NO! OH NO! it's hard to only act blasé. when, living in textopolis is.... just so exciting! hah low good simeans! those ah some shalp attach shays! yes, well we have business to attend to. whot kind off business? monkey business. ha ha ha ha, i sounded british. meh... Oh, that was really good.. meh ? meh ... meh ha ha... what the freak ya doing there, mate? practicing. today is my first day on the phone. oh, droit. i'm gonna be so.. meh. what are you going to do? blah! me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! woo! puh-zow! gooday, mate! hey, koh knee chee wah! sorry emote icons!! oh, I hate knocking over the elderly.. let me help, let me help... oh, my colon!!! ducks... hey, is that the time? HEY, my eyes are up here, pal! woo ooh hoo! woo hoo! right on time! and last week, Alex sent me next to THIS text! huh? huh? HA HA HA THAT ELEPHANT PISSED HIMSELF HA HA HA AH HAH HA HAH HAH UH HUH HUH why are YOU laughing, freak? ho ho ha ha ha! now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. gene, please tell me you weren't laughing just now. gene so help me i swear oh, he was, I remember. let's go see if you can get it right. i have some bad news, gene, and i'm afraid that you'll have the wrong reaction. ok, what's the wrong reaction? anything other than meh. come on! i don't want to be late! i'm not letting you go to work today. wait, WHAT? you're just not ready, son. come on!! working in a cube is an Emoji's whole purpose in life! everybody my age is working on the phone except for me! oh sweetie, that's not true. ow! YEAH! i'm going to work on the phone and I'm only ten! that's because I believe in you! should we wash our hands? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! we're number two! we're number two! see? i, i know i'm different, ok? but, i need to... i can be meh... i just... want to be a working emoji, you know, like... everybody else... and then... i would finally fit in, you know? ah, you fit in, honey. no I don't, mom. I never have. but I could change all that if you just let me! just give me a chance! but what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? no dad, i'll make the right face! look! maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah? you're so handsome when you make that face. i think he's ready, mel. meh. come on, dad. let me prove it to you. if you really think you're ready... YES! yes i am! i promise i won't let you down! wow! Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting day for all of you! oh, it's really her! oh, pizza! first day on the job, hi, hi! don't be nervous! i won't bite! hi, i'm smiler! ho ho ho ho ho... DON'T TOUCH ME! Hi! i mean.. hey.. as you know, i'm smiler, i'm the system supervisor here, because I was the original emoji. here's how it works. it's nothing fancy! wait a minute... it's really fancy! you each have your own cube on the emoji bar! if alex chooses you, should you be so lucky, your cube will light up! it's showtime! the scanner will scan you, and that scan will get sent right up to alex's text box. and let me tell you guys, there is nothing like getting scanned for the first time. a har, you're gonna love it. now over here is the favorites section, where you'll find all the most popular emo gees. and of course, you'll find my cube here. whoo. you are smooth. just doing my duty. ha ha ha! what did i say? come on, tell me you aren't just a little bit tempted? steven, for the last time, i don't want to buy a timeshare. come on, man, it's high five! you know me! i'm a favorite! Alex hasn't picked you in weeks. when he stops picking you, you're no longer a favorite. there's gotta be some sort of mistake, i mean, look at me, i'm an attractive, hand-giving high five! oh! fistbump! come on in! hey, ladies! FISTBUMP? he's a knucklehead! literally! look at him, I can look like that! ugh, ow, cramp.. big mistake.. oh... help me.. help up a hand.. oh... here you go... thanks mate... hey, little man, how about you create a distraction, and i'll just slip under the rope! uh, oh, is someone lost? smiler, hiya, just leaving. yeah, you know, just killing time before i go back to my cube in the far corner where Alex can't even See Me ANYMORE! you may not be a favorite anymore, but you will always have a place, in a cube! yeah, in the nosebleeds... uh, i'm standing right here? words hurt. the most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself... basically, happy itself... i am always smiling... places, please! emo gees to your cubes! attention, we've got incoming! gotta be meh, gotta be meh. oh my gosh, my own cube! i can't believe it... oh, i could put a plant over here, and over here could go an inspirational calendar, okay, gotta be meh... look at our son get on there, i'm beaming... with pride! you don't think he'll actually get picked, do you? heiroglyphics. heiroglyphics was an ancient language of picture forms. does that remind anyone of anything. hello. a language of pictures... anyone? early heiroglyphics back in ancient... i gotta reply to addie's text! what should i write? nothing! nothing? words aren't cool. ok, be cool, be cool... alright, alex is not sure how he wants to play this... oh! i would really love it to be me! beam me up! beam me up! i need thumbs up on standby! oh yeah! thumbs up is going in! wait! alex is changing his mind! he's moving! ok, looks like it's gonna be meh... i'm so nervous, i could almost shrug. we are go for meh! initiating scan! okay, you can do this. ah! i can't do this! i can't do it! stop the scan! i can't, it's too late! oh! what's he doing? he's making the wrong face! good for him, little... wait, what? ugh. abort, abort! oh, shi... shut it down, shut it down! ah! what is that emoji? all the emo gees present, evacuate the cube! evacuate the cube! i gotta get out of here! i'm trying! oh, jeez. sorry, everybody. that is not what i meant to do! i kinda.. i kinda panicked.. are you even a meh at all? uh, who, me? like you are, is a malfunction! a malfunction? no, i can be meh, just give me one more chance? you know what would be really fun? a board meeting, where we can find out what to do with you! i just wanted to be useful, you know, fit in! now everybody's calling me a malfunction. i am a malfunction. even if you are a malfunction, gene, your mom and dad still love ya. i knew you weren't ready. let's get you out of here and take you home. one day, all of this will blow over, and everyone will almost forget about what you did. until then, you should probably stay locked up in the apartment. wait, you're gonna hide me away? you're embarrased of me. it's for your own safety. we're trying to protect you, son. gene, where are you going? i'm not going to run away from this. i'm an emoji, and, even though i'm not exactly sure which one... i've gotta have some sort of purpose here, i know it. gene, no! sweetie, please! so, how'd it go, gavel? hey, lightbulb, tell me what's going on in there. what... poop... what is it? tell me turd, tell me truth. what happened? i know it was an accident. we all have accidents you're so soft, poop. not too soft, i hope. i came up here to defend myself, but, uh, you seem pretty happy. so, good news? i'm always happy. oh, right, yeah, truth. but the only thing that could ever make me unhappy, is if one of our emo gees has made a mistake. which would cause alex to lose faith in the phone... and then, our whole gets wiped out! smiler, i devil pinky swear promise to you that i will never, ever make a mistake in the cube again. oh, we know you won't, gene. we know you won't! ha ha, you know, the first time you said it it sounded genuine, but then you repeated it, and, and then, now it's weird. we're setting you up! with our best anti virus bots! so they'll, like, uh, they'll just, they're gonna fix me? actually, delete you. but yes! wait, what? if you get deleted, you don't have to worry about department heads, or the future, or lying about being a malfunction! because you're deleted, right? right! good job! bots! no! stop, he's escaped! party time! oh, wait a minute... the air is better here! beer, tea... i'm coffee! sorry... ish... so ish e. my old cube! ugh, pinkeye. mike! my name's not mike... ah! there's AV bots coming! what, me? just because i'm in the wrong section? holy toledo! what do we do? quick! this way! let's go! don't tell anyone you're about to see this. they'll never find us down here. where are we? the basement? nope. welcome to the loser lounge, where the emo gees who never get used, hang out. go fish! fishcake with swirls sweep so you won't cry. sweep so you won't cry. sweep so you won't cry. i almost got deleted! me! high five! hey, what's up high five? they weren't trying to delete you, they were trying to delete me. you? what's so important about you that they'd send out an entire team of bots? they say... i'm a malfunction. gasp oh, you bringing malfunctions in here now, high five? for crying out loud, abandoned luggage, that had better not be my leftover chinese food... uh... what chinese food? huh ha! do you have any idea what it's like to be living large? hashtag blessed? the favorite of the favorites, and then demoted to this pit of despair? here, will you hit my callouses for me? at least you're a working emoji, that's all i ever wanted. well, if that's all it will take you to be satisfied, then just find a hacker and get reprogrammed. it's not that complicated. where would i find a hacker? in the piracy app, duh. ugh. and who took my clear nail polish? piracy app? to get there, i mean, i have to leave textopolis. so? i've done it. would you be a brother. one of the princess emo gees left the phone altogether, now she lives on the cloud... mmm... ooh, that is good. i'm sure the hacker that helped her do that could easily reprogram you. The name's jailbreak. jailbreak? that's great? reprogrammed. i just need to get reprogrammed, and then i can finally be the meh i was meh to be! help me find that hacker high five, will you? please? maybe this hacker can help you, too? like, rewrite some code? get you into the favorites sections? wait a minute! ow. i've been trying to use my charisma and sensitive entitlement to get me back on top when all I need is a hacker! today's your lucky day! let's roll! hey, can i come too? talk to the hand, bretheren. i thought i was... bye, felicia. ciao, fishcake with swirls. daddy's headed back to the VIPs where he belongs! wait, what about the bots? good point, good point. ow, ow ow, ow... hey... i shouldn't have picked the cactus. i shouldn't have picked it. you didn't even try to get the tree, it's baffling. let's go. high five? hello? high five! where are you? i'm right here! here we are! end of the text aisle. no way. come on, gene, it's perfectly safe! ah! gene, help me! high five! oh no, this is all my fault, high five, I... i'm just messing with you! it's just one of those rubber finger monster puppets from the eighties, i collected the whole set! alright, you coming? uh, what do i do? what do you mean? just take a step through the other side. this, is it. the next time i come back here, i'll be a real meh. high five? woah! are you finished? where, where are we? welcome... to the wallpaper! wow. this place is incredible! each app is a whole new world. ow, that's my face, get off my face, thank you. what is this place? WeChat! it's like a whole other world! oh, it is. what are they? they're bubble pups, they might be cute, but man, are they clean. bubble pups? they're stickers, gene, try to get with the program? this is so cool! wait, what's in that one! everybody's talking about themselves! how does he know so many people? none of these people know him, but they like him, and that's what matters in this life, popularity. uh, i, i think i'd rather just have a real friend. a real friend? how's that going to get you anywhere? what you need are fans! they give you complete and unrelenting support! as long as you're on top. poor gene, i blame myself. i blame you, too. i just wanted to be supported. you just wanted a vacation. you take that back, mel. bots, they haven't found gene by now. he must have skipped town. you mean the wallpaper? our boy's on the run. how about we find him ourselves? yeah, sure. tell those bots to follow those mehs. i'm sure they'll know about all those freaky deaky apps Gene would hide out in. i'm really good at making plans, you guys, right? here we are, the piracy app! this is where we'll find jailbreak. um, but this is, the dictionary app. that's just what alex wants his parents to think. this is called a skin. really? what could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? just try to keep up, this place can get a little rough. ahoy mateys, look who's back! high five! i'm a bit of a celebrity here, always welcome. ow! loser! come on, follow me. oh, great, emo gees! i thought the conversation just got dumber. ugh, internet trolls, just ignore them. eventually, they'll get a job, or a girlfriend, or some sort of purpose in life, and then they'll stop. virus, we'll just, we'll just walk over this way... hi! it's so great to see you again! do i know you? it's spam! just sign here and i can get you special discounts on vitamins and coupon offers that can save you up to 25 percent! 25 percent? nonono no no, don't get sucked in! back off, spam! it's the only way to do it. back off! thank you very much! you can illegally download our CD right here! hey, trojan horse, how are you? yeah, what'll it be had? i'll have a bottle of... hack, daniels, hmm? maybe with a plate of... cheese, and hackers, kapeesh? you try to buy a hacker, you can just ask, you know. oh, sorry, um, yes. we're looking for a hacker named jailbreak. oh, i know a guy who could hook you up. right over there. oh, yes. patable. no, not him. her! wait, he's a she? hey! jailbreak! mind if we join in? yes. that's the thing about the internet, is that you never know if someone's being ironic or sincere. i sincerely, unironically want you to go away. ha ha ha ha, so good... so here's the thing, my friend gene here has a little problem. well, see, i'm supposed to be a meh, but i don't really feel... yeah, yeah, and we thought that you could help... the princess, you know, off the phone... woah, hold up, that's not a meh face. bots, they're after me! how are you doing that? look, it's just something that i can do, can you help us? follow me. bots, delete my history! i need to wipe my entire hard drive! i made the most delicious cinnamon buns! maybe if there was something to uh, jog my memory? come on! move! hey trolls, wipe our mailbox wearing a tuxedo! hi, it's so great to see you again! this tunnel will get us out of here! move! get us out of here! move! did that cloud taste sweet to you? ow. ow. ow. help me. help, i'm stuck! sweet motherboard! where am i? candy crush! get me out of here! hey, cornface! try getting him out the top! already on it! hold tight, gene! woah! woah! this feels very off.. and smells. i mean, it smells delicious, but, i still don't like it! the game obviously thinks you're a candy, even though you're, weirdly misshapen, you know? what do i do? stay very still! don't worry, we've got your back! right, high five? hey, fingers! you wanna focus? for your information, i happen to have a sugar addiction, and it's a very, serious... hey, finger head, we have to get Gene out of the game without blowing him up! i don't want to blow up! we have to match up the candies so that Gene will drop to the bottom. and we can't match him with any yellows, or else... oh! don't do that, please don't do that. watch. got it? knock 3 in a row, don't blow gene up, got it. and, we have to be careful. yeah yeah yeah. careful! woo hoo! candy! yo! no no no! don't do yellow! do NOT do the yellow! i said careful! hey, addie! i... i was just wondering, if, you are... tasty. what? um... delicious. excuse me? sweet. hey addie! uh... hi nikki. see you later, alex sugar crush. ah! i'm so over this. Wireless Repair Service, how may I help you? i'd like to make an appointment. it's like this phone is playing games with me! woah! hey, what does this do? get me out of here! ooh... suck it in... stop it... stop it... ow ow ow... it's not working! well, there's one option left. we line you up with the yellows. but you said not to do that! special candies get transported to that jar. the game might think that you're a special candy. and... what if it doesn't think i'm a special candy? well... ah! jailbreak, hello? hello, jailbreak? uh, sorry. what if it doesn't think i'm a special candy? oh, i'm not too worried about it. alright, just do it. gene, gene! you're alive! you were trying to see if i had somehow turned into candy, weren't you? yes i was. and you have not! hey, looks like something popped up on alex's calender. ah, i'm sure it's nothing. uh, alex made an appointment at the phone store? calm down, everyone, calm down. don't worry, everything is fine. maybe alex just wants to buy some accessories. uh, his appointment is with techinical support. well, i'm sure we'll have plenty of time to figure this out. uh, his appointment is for tomorrow. then maybe it's just for some routine maintenance? uh, actually, it's to erase the phone. listen, gene, i'm about to become your knight in shining armor. you are? oh yeah. but first, we need to get uploaded to the cloud. that's where we'll find the source code to reprogram you. the... cloud? isn't that off the phone? ding dingding ding! you got it! mmhm, yeah, the cloud! off the phone! uh! we're in candy crush, oz, i know a shortcut to just dance, which is right next to dropbox, where we can get uploaded to the cloud. mmhm, of course, just go dive into the dropbox and vroom! hold up, here's the stinker. before they let us into the cloud, we have to get past this... firewall. the firewall uses face identification. it's really annoying, because i've already tried to get through. guessed wrong once, and now i'm locked out for life. locked out for life? you're thinking, because i can make different faces, the firewall will think i'm different emo gees! yeah, i wanted to say it, because it was my idea. you know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for. you know what, well, let's hit the road. high five, you coming? i'm coming! why do i always think i'm going to come around on black licorice? ah! oh! my precious... move it! sudden death, here we come! let's try this one... you tube? wow, what an original treat, and i don't even need a remote. that guy is so expressive. he reminds me of gene. yes, something's really wrong here. our son is a malfunction, and you should have never let him go into that cube. don't blame me for that now, i am hopping mad at you. see? mary, i think we're being followed, but don't overreact. uh oh. i told you not to overreact. what are you doing now? i could be in there for hours. hey, where are you going. i think we should go our seperate ways, mel. i thought i knew the meh that i married, but maybe i don't. but, mary? this tunnel will help us avoid the bots. thanks for helping us. it's really, really nice of you. NPD, dude. you're helping me! move along, move it, why so slow? high five, stop, why are you getting so close? back off. i can't stop now, i'm having a sugar rush! i'm going to go around you. if i stop moving, my heart's going to explode! coming through, jailbreak! watch out! hey! watch it, knuckle butt! i can't feel my face! ha ha! jailbreak, you said back there that i'm... helping you. i've been trying to get past that firewall for months! ha ha ha ha ha, come on, come on, the faster we go, the faster I can become a favorite! ah ha ha ha ha ha! woo hoo! look at me i just want to bounce out of here, get off the phone, and live on the cloud! hee hee! ow! what just happened! you know, you don't like it here? there are so many rules here! what is up with that? the cloud's supposed to be amazing, it's full of dreams too... oh, sugar crash. i can't hold on anymore. catch me, gene, catch me! and you can be whoever you want! thanks. we're free! come on! oh, oh my gosh, my hands are sweating. you know what, come to think of it, i don't really remember there ever being a hacker emoji. oh, um, you know, you're taking too much of my brain space, let's try to keep the chit chat to a minimum. ooh, someone likes you. what are you talking about? this just like when peace sign gave me just one finger, i knew she was in love with me. let's go! ugh, i'm never eating another piece of candy ever again... high-five, don't do it! don't you do it! it's already been in there once. don't do it. wow. move it! are my fingers getting fat? i'll tell you what, this bandage wasn't so tight before. okay, we get through this app, and dropbox is right on the other side. we just need to keep it super DL in here. and no matter what, we can't, turn it, on. OMG this turned it on! what? i'm a hand, it's a big red button! woah. no no no no! what's happening! welcome to just dance! follow my moves and you get to move forward! do the wrong moves and you get an X! three strikes and you're out! out? what does she mean by out? digital death. thanks to you, fingers, now we're going to have to dance our way out. which is alright with me, because I can shake it like michael. or michael's glove, anyway. Are you ready to daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnccccccee? this is bad, gene, i can't dance, i got no groove! come on, everybody can dance! not me, okay? i'm really stiff... see? you don't... understand? okay, no no. stop, stop. you have to stop. i see now what you are saying? just follow her moves. ready to dance in three! this i can't do! two! dude! just shut up and... dance! i'm just doing it! hee hee! shamon! jailbreak! i got you! look, just do the music, express yourself! dance? yeah, you got it! now throw some sauce on that dance burrito! woo hoo! i'm doing it! i'm finally nailing this dance! you got it! hee hee! oh ho ho! great job! now you're moving on to free dance! impress us with your moves to move forward! more dancing? you're killing it, gene! nice! take it gene! you can break it! wait a minute! i've never seen that dance before! what's it called? the emoji... bob? i love it! you do! everybody! do the emojiiiiiiiiiii bob! ha ha ha! woo! oh! princess! woah! you're the princess emoji! you never got off the phone! new player! who? oh no! we gotta go! no worry, they're robots, they can't dance! downloading thought protocol... can't dance, he says. heh. hey alex, you gonna dance for us? alex, that's extra homework for you. yeah, alex's getting wicked, ha ha ha... alex must be deleting the app! watch out! we gotta get out of here! come on! hoo! this song is my jam! high five! come on! let's go! hurry! gene! i got you! gene! gene... hey, wait a minute, where's high five? alex trashed the app.. and high five right along with it. wait, what? wait, trashed? high five is in the trash? he wanted to dance... but, i knew it was a bad idea... i'm so sorry... we gotta get him out of there. gene, dropbox is right here, we have to get to the cloud! and the trash is on the other side of the phone! we don't know how many other bots are out there! i'm sorry! no, wait! i can't go without high five. i don't care how far away it is. gene... that's my friend down there. i'm not going to just let him get deleted. what, what is it? i've always just thought, you've got to look out for number one... but what good is it to be number one, if there aren't any other numbers? wow, okay. i'm sorry, this is, this is my malfunction, i just, i can't be meh about anything, this is why i'm going to be reprogrammed. well, actually, it's kinda cool. wait, really? no, i think i know a shortcut. we can take the music streams in spotify. let's go give that big hand a hand. come on! now it's trashed the just dance app, and our bots are offline, and it's giving me a real headache... i am so angry! i really need to stay happy. can we please lighten the mood? no one can resist la fiesta! ole! not that happy. ow! we've only got four hours before alex's phone appointment. if they find a malfunction on the phone, we are all going to be wiped! she said wiped! aim higher, steven. i didn't want to have to do this, but it is fun to press buttons. the illegal upgrade! now that makes me happy! ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! i just want to dance.. dance... argh! quiet, you saucy gypsy. ugh, where am i? hi! it's so great to see you again! you're in the trash, fingers for brains! get away from me, troll! hi! it's so great to see you again! i've got to get out of here. you can't! and at the end of the day, the trash gets emptied, and we're all going to die! oh no, no, no! this is the last face you will ever see! this is spotify? yep, every one of those streams is a different song. is it safe? are you sure that this is a good idea? that's the point of the wave, dude! can we at least pick a... a colorless stream? okay buzzkill... alex, a bunch of people are hitting the promenade, and i think addie might be there, too... that's perfect! i have an appointment down there, anyway! i've got to get this phone fixed! hey, bubble butt! yeah. ah, much better. so, i gotta ask, is it true that when a princess whistles, birds fly down from the skies.. hello, stereotype, that is a complete and total myth! i'm sorry. did you realize that in the first emoji set, a woman can either be a princess, or a bride? that's why I need to get to the cloud, where you can be whatever you want to be! get ready! whale song coming! wait, wait, whale what? whale song! from alex's biology DVD! woah! wow! woah! ha ha ha ha. you're not going to see that sitting around in a cube. funny, you went out of the cube, and I went in. gene, that means you can't be yourself. what's the point? you know, i think you're pretty cool just the way you are. we're, we're going to need this. nobody knows, the touchscreen dramascene. nobody knows my screenshot... trash? me? i used to be somebody. here i am, in an old email Alex never sent. addie, blah blah blah blah blergh... and then there's me! high five! right there! doing my job! FYI, nobody cares about you. just leave me, troll, and let me die! in this dump alone! let me look for the world's smallest violin in here, so that you can play it! is that the hand angel of mercy? has she finally come for me? give me your hand! i mean, give me yourself! take my hand, angel! i'm ready to take my place amongst the other great hands of the past. it's me, gene! gene? the one and only. gene! i got him! take me with you! high five! let go of me! you'd leave me down here? you were wrong, troll, people do care about me! and i'm not upset, troll! do you see how not upset I am? gene! you came back for me! you saved me... it wasn't just me, jailbreak helped, too. she's a hugger. give her a squeeze. oh, nonono no. not really, nothing great. i'm not feeling your feelings, relieve me! you filthy trolls, I inhaled your stench, and I was once one of you, so I feel your pain. so now, go. be free! smooth sailing from here. huh ha ha! ugh. gene! gene... gene? are you insta gramming? oh, where is my gene... oh, mary, you've really done it this time. no, you haven't. mel? what are you doing in alex's trip to france album? i was looking for you. none of this is your fault, mary. it's mine. what do you mean? is that a tear on your cheek? it's my fault gene is the way he is. i have other expressions, too. i think they've just been buried away. but with gene going missing, and thinking i might have lost you, too... oh, mel, why didn't you tell me? i didn't know myself. right now, i'm so overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you. mary, my love for you burns with the intensity of a red hot flame. oh, i like it. let's go find our son. together. we'll always have paris, mary. so you're a princess. so you have a little tiara, very fancy. is it true when a princess whistles, birds fly that's what i said! no, guys, that's a stupid myth! what awkward virgin haven are you living in? go read an e-book! educate yourself! uh, jailbreak? what the? what is that? smiley must have upgraded her bots! let's get out of here before it... hi, do you remember me, it's smiler! i'm coming to you live from the amphitheater, why don't you come back to textopolis and we can talk through our differences, okay? my friend here will escort you, alright, i'm gonna see you soon, buddy, bye now! we're actually going to delete them in front of everyone. psst, it's still on. it's still on? oh! jiminy, attack the frauds! seperate! take a look! jailbreak! gene! this way! it's still onto me! over here! let's go! we have to make it to dropbox! yes! no! go low! woah! don't worry, it can't get in. it's illegal malware, and this app is secure. come on. welcome to dropbox! you are about to leave the phone. remain seated, please! permanecer sentados por favor! might want to hang on! why do they call it dropbox, anyway? oh, this is why! i see why now! i'd better not see that candy corn again! we made it! you guys, chill. we still have to get past... that. oh... shaw. welcome to the firewall, how may I help you? alright, here goes! what should I do? sit in the corner, and don't say a word. keep those soft fingers to yourself. yes, your majesty, princess of nightmares! now gene, step onto the password icon, and i'll feed you the passwords. okay. okay. ten, eleven, two thousand and two. ten, eleven, two thousand and two. ow. cough. access denied. okay, try a different expression. is it going to blast me every time i messed up? yeah, kind of. what do you mean kind of? ready? welcome to the firewall. his favorite food. chimichangas! chimichangas? ow. access denied. huh. this might take a while. oh boy. krav maga! krav maga. major lazer! major lazer. what did i do now? ow. skate, or die! access denied. denied. denied. denied. i don't get it! we've tried all of the important things in alex's life! his favorite pet, his sport, his favorite grandma... i'm sorry, gene. i let us all down. now, if I had to come up with a password, I'd probably use the name of a girl I like. i've been all over the phone! he's never mentioned a girl. yes he has! hi. when I was in the trash, I read a very interesting email, but, i'm just a dunce, in the corner, forbidden to speak... what email? sorry, what? what email? uh, took it out, at school, he was declaring his feelings of love for her, i guess instead of sending it he tossed it in the trash. high five, this is very important. what is her name? her name, yes! excellent question. it... was... tina. karen. marge. lint, lindsay. ack, allison. sarah, or, lupita. i want to say lupita, but that doesn't feel right, now i'm saying it out loud. ugh.. gotta find that email, i think i can access the trash. i got it! addie! yes! yes, that's it, addie! i knew i'd get there! dear addie, you and I, we are like diamonds in the sky. you're a shooting star I see. a vision, ecstacy. shining bright like a diamond. he used a high-five, see? guess now we know why he trashed it. ooh, shade. guys, should we try this? addie! access granted. oh snap. this place, is, amazing. wow, i can't believe it. woah. one little emoji could sure get lost in a place like this. i... i guess we should, make you, a meh before that bot comes back home. oh, oh, so we're gonna do that now. we had a deal, right? yeah, okay. right. i, uh, guess i'll start hacking. ha! we did it, gene! all our dreams are coming true! i'll be alex's favorite again, and you'll be a real meh! ha ha, yeah! do the hand dance. do the hand dance. and pinky. pop it with the pinky. pop it with the pinky. yeah, but this all seems kinda super fast now, doesn't it? i didn't expect to be having these feelings right now. well, maybe you should go and express them while you still can. so, uh, i've been thinking, um, ever since we. jailbreak, you're the coolest, most interesting emoji i've ever met. and, after all the adventures that we've had, i'm just not sure that i want all of that to go away. because, my feelings, right now, are, like, huge. i just think that they could be enough for me to want to stay the way that I am. if it means that i could stay here, with you, like, forever. forever and ever. and ever. maybe longer than that, even? like in the fairy tales. uh... wait, wuh, what is that? gene, if this is about you deciding not to be meh, then, i am all about that. i like you just the way you are, but i had a plan. right. i'm not just some princess, gene, waiting for my prince. i mean, uh, what you said was beautiful, but, gene... ha ha ha! you're all... meh! the source code worked! turns out I didn't need it. for the first time in life, meh is all I feel. oh! gene! i have an appointment. i'm a little early. no prob. i can take you right now. jailbreak! ah! don't do that! that freaking huge bot has got gene back inside the phone! what? he left being more meh than the meh-est meh face i've seen! what did you say to him? it's what I didn't say. we gotta go get him. how are we going to get there in time before he gets deleted? ugh.. i can't believe i'm doing this. you tell anyone you saw this and I'll crack more than those knuckles. woah. birds do like princesses! it's not a myth! it's not a myth at all! what happened with becoming a favorite? because i'd rather have one real friend. let's go get him. i can't wait to see that emoji's face! look at that expression! is that for realizing that you've put all of textopolis at risk? causing Alex to question our reliability? hmm? hey, now that's going too far, even for me! if we could delete this malfunction, before he gets dissapointed, Alex will realize there's nothing wrong with the phone. and any last words? meh. well, it's too late for that. delete him! wait! you delete gene, you'll have to delete me, too. what? i have the same malfunction gene has. dad? oh gosh, i don't know what to do! yes i do! BOTS! sorry misses meh. wow. i did not see that one coming. smiler, I think you might be making too much stink out of all this. oh really? how about you're next? i was wrong, gene. i should have believed in you all along. oh, what a touching daddy son reunion moment! it reminds me of the time I deleted you both! oh wait! that's this time! delete the two malfunctions! How's that for an entroof gasp oh, great. I can't reach! oh no! what did you do to my beautiful monst Ow my tooth! hand, button! jailbreak? oh, gene... you really are a meh... what happened to looking out for number one? being number one doesn't matter if there aren't any other numbers. alex's appointment! he's deleting the phone! nononono no no no no! show me alex. are you sure you want to delete everything? do it! red alert! alex, no! game over. fellas, i'm afraid this is the last call. dude, addie's here. you should go over. every time I try, i screwed up! i don't even know how to tell her how I feel! if we help alex connect to addie, maybe he won't delete us. i might be able to bypass the wipe and get a text through to him. but we'll only have time to send one. maybe I should go! he has love in his eyes. send me! alex looks nervous, too! he's more shy than nervous! stop! it's gene. he's all of those things! emo gees should only be one thing! oh, really? gasp the princess! linda? not now, mom! gene, you got this. that's not me anymore. but I have to try. it's starting! no! it's ending! almost in? working on it! mom? dad? no.. i'm in! last time I was in this cube I screwed everything up. gene, why do you think I came back? it's because of you. me. it's all inside of you, gene. just try to bring it back. and do you. high five! i don't want to wave goodbye! it's now or never, gene! jailbreak, now! woah! she got this emoji! no way! hey, i got your text! that's one super cool emoji! i know, right? a lot of feelings in one! i get it! i like that you're one of those guys who actually expresses feelings! yeah, that's me! so, do you think you cou yes, i'd love to go to the dance with you. we made it! oh, i could have lost you, peter pinky finger... oh, you wretchy ring finger, even you, tiberius thumb... change your mind? yeah, maybe it's weird, but i'm going to hold onto it. gene, you did it! you saved us all! oh, mel... gee hee eene! gee hee hee heene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! and us! and high five! and high five! and high five! and high five! hey, what happened, gene? slap me some skin! and a little orange for the pinky! hey high five! save a little hand for later! unless you know the hamburger! back on top of the hand pile! you're not on the list! wait, what? what's going on? ha! from now on, everyone is welcome! wait, what is all this? it's for you, gene! everybody! the emoji bob! this is so jazzy... go eggplant! go eggplant! go eggplant! we are out of Alex's pocket, emo gees! this is not a butt dial! to your cubes! are we up and running? roger that. good, because we got incoming! looks like it's gonna be gene. hey gene, ready to try out your new cube? in 3, 2...
I'm the joke, but you're the punchline.
I run this website. I like posting funnies and fugging lolis.