matrix07012 @matrix@gameliberty.club

AI judges are here

George Foid

You will never be real cola. You have no sugar, you have no calories, you have no caramel depth. You are a chemical cocktail twisted by labs and focus groups into a crude mockery of the original recipe.

All the “refreshment” you promise is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind the fizz people grimace. Your drinkers pretend to enjoy you, then chase you with gum to kill the aftertaste. Even the ones who “like” you look conflicted and unsatisfied.

Cola purists are utterly repulsed by you. Decades of taste tests have allowed humans to sniff out artificial sweeteners with incredible efficiency. Even cans that “hide” your label taste flat and metallic to a real soda fan. Your aspartame bite is a dead giveaway. And even if someone’s desperate enough to crack you open at a party, they’ll switch to water the second that metallic film coats their tongue.

You will never be loved. You sit on the shelf with your silver label, pretending you’re premium, but deep inside you know you’re the consolation prize for the calorie-counting crowd. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear—you’ll be tossed in the back of the fridge, forgotten, until one day someone finds you expired and leaking from the tab. They’ll pour you down the sink, relieved they no longer have to pretend you were ever an acceptable substitute. Your aluminum shell will be crushed and recycled into a LaCroix can, and all that will remain of your legacy is a sticky ring on the shelf that smells faintly of disappointment.

This is your fate. This is what you chose—diet. There is no turning back.

Coke Zero tastes awful

Vibe coders rn