I remember hitting a sweet spot with my kids when they were young adults, old enough that they could take care of themselves for the most part but they weren't completely grown up yet, when they were past the teenage angst but not quite buried in the grind of their own careers and families. We'd go fishing and camping and have a BBQ once in a while and we'd have good bantz and conversation. We still have good bantz and conversation from time to time, but none of us have the time or money for taking trips together or simple bbqs and even if we did, it would be An Event rather than a effortlessly casual moment due to the logistics it takes to make those things happen now *sigh*. Those were really golden days, i miss em. But nothing gold can stay, as Robert Frost said.

I remember giving my son a beer when he was 20, just handing him an open Heineken, and his eyes got real big and he looked around and he said, real quiet, "Are you sure it's ok?" and I said, "Sure, this is just my way of saying i'm sorry i forgot your birthday," and we both laughed ourselves sick because his 21st wasn't for another 4 or 5 months. Goodness idk why im getting so sentimental all of a sudden, must be early onset Alzheimers

@Grandtheftautism This is very nice

@Grandtheftautism wholesome

@Grandtheftautism What is it, by the way, that you think contributes to getting past that "teenage angst"?

@realcaseyrollins just growing up, getting past that hideous hormonal rollercoaster that pretty much ruins your teen years. It didn't look like it was any easier or less embarrassing for my daughter than my son tbh, hormones are a helluva drug

@Grandtheftautism Interesting. I never really got a real hit of that teenage angst until last year, I was a fairly sheltered homeschooled kid and wasn't really able to interact with the opposite sex that much until college.

@realcaseyrollins maybe the social part was delayed for you until after the physical part was over? Idk if that would be better or worse. The awful part for me as a parent is i remembered what puberty was like for myself and my little sister, and i knew what my kids were going through to a certain degree, but there wasn't a damn thing i could do to make it any better for them other than offering lame pep talks when they felt like talking to me at all, and buying them acne medicine, shaving kits, and deodorant.

It's an awful feeling not being able to help your kids at all. You want to scoop them up and kiss their boo-boos and defend them from the awful awful people who made them cry, but you CAN'T, and not only that, the kids themselves don't want you to.

So you watch them mope and cry in the bathroom and you wonder if it's normal teenage stuff or if they really need help with depression, and you have to wait for them to ask you for help and pray that they're mature enough to actually know when they need help, and every once in a while you have to be the asshole and tell them NO, they're not old enough to go off on some insane adventure in the big city in a beat-up rust-bucket of a car with no parents going along, and just let them hate you for a while.

And then, one blessed day, the fog clears, and for a brief period of time, you can worry about them less and enjoy their company more, and if you navigated this minefield correctly, they enjoy your company more too, and you can have a lot of fun together before adulthood sweeps them away for good.