Me: don't talk to me ever again
Him: oh, I will make sure not to talk to you

Do people not get it? When I say "don't talk to me", the next word I expect from you is....
Nothing. I don't expect nor want you to say anything else. Your sign that you read, understood, acknowledged and respecting my demand is you not saying anything at all.
It might be hard to wrap your big brain around it, but it's that easy. Just don't talk.