How crazy is it that right when I finally get over my bbc trauma, my ex gf who took 1 million bbcs is showing interest in me again? I wanted to marry her. She only took the bbcs because she was mad at me, and because they had intimidated her and drugged her.
But at least she's back now!
Pretty anxious to meet her again, but she goes by him now even though she still looks the same. Maybe that will help. I'm much less anxious when I think of her as a guy. I think because women have been infantilized, I think of a woman as a woman and I become very uncomfortable. But when she's a man, I'm at ease.
If I reproduce I won't have nearly as much time for the fediverse, scary thought. But I hear having offspring is good or something, like I hear it feels good to see them grow and such, I can imagine that being true. I've seen pets grow, and so it must be many times more fulfilling than that. If I had a kid, and it's a far way off probably, I would make them my top priority, and I would raise them the way I was raised but better. I wouldn't medicate them when they start freaking out about the state of the world. We would take all the time they needed to integrate that crazy shit, before we move on. No sending the kid off to college before they're ready for it, don't need them crashing and blowing resources, and opportunities.
And she's been associating with open Christians.......maybe she's converted to being wholesome??????????
GUYS WHAT IF I BECOME HAPPY IRL AND I CAN'T JAZZY POST AS MUCH??????? GUYS DO YOU NEED ME OR WILL YOU BE ALRIGHT??
Project ended.
Project status: Failure
Debrief complete.