JazzFLASH @Jazzy_Butts@gameliberty.club

A depressing stream of consciousness poem about being lonely on the fediverse

Every day I wait for death
My purposelessness ceaseless
The word prodigy mocks me
It's what they called me
Pattern recognition skills crippled by pills
Brainwash medication
To fix a problem that never existed
1990s tv screens take me away from this hell, and into a new one of fresh hollow consumerism
Infomercials kept me awake at night, my one escape, when there was no other
But then I heard it, the electric cackle
Something new, something fresh
And I could say hello
And who said hello back...I do not know
But they did
And I learned
And I took what I learned and I left
And I failed
I misjudged
I trusted people
And they hurt me in ways that I can't describe
And I left again
This time on a return trip
Back to the internet
But it's not the same, it's dying now
And I feel like I'm dying now
I'm on the downswing
I'm not the hero I thought I was
I failed
My only quest options left are to become a good wizard and aid the next young hero
What keeps me awake at night worrying is if they'll be pure of heart

https://youtube.com/shorts/m2e6QvBF0kQ?si=K2EwXMjPCIbP2Vh4
lol

I have to get my confidence back

"I can't hold my shit in anymore, it leaks down my leg because my asshole is ruined"
"YEA, AND I ADMIT THAT MUST BE AWFUL, WHY CAN'T YOU ADMIT THAT IT'S AWFUL THAT I CAN'T PLAY GTAV ANYMORE WITHOUT GETTING PANIC ATTACKS??? WHY ARE YOU SO HEARTLESS TO THE SUFFERING OF OTHERS????"

Imagine going to a survivors group and every other person was raped in gta V. Like a south park bit.

And if there was no next time at least we parted happily, with light hearts.

And words of encouragement. And then goodbye until the next time.

If I had someone cool to have sex with but nothing else, like no attachment and no nonsense, I wouldn't thumb my nose at that. A nice girl, who I know nothing about and keep it that way, who comes over when she's in town, and nothing else. We don't talk about our lives at all, only the moment, and when we're done we say goodbye with a kiss and a big smile, and a joke.

I'm going to get rich enough that I can have a marriage of convenience with a twink half my age and very pretty