There is one fundamental problem I cannot get over. There are obviously christians, who take christianity through a spiritual lense. And I do understand that kind of a religion.

But... I have been listening to christian apologists ever since I was a child. And I know, that this kind of a god was NOT what they were talking about. Neither the first mover nor the Pascal's vager are connected to the inner beauty of the world. The eternal hell I was promised and get threatened by is not connected to the inner piece this connection can bring.

So, even if I accepted this God, I still could never call myself a christian. Because I know, that it does describe something different, then what I would mean.

And yes, it is a problem, that I simply cannot get over. I feel disgust whenever I hear christian language. I will pray for you is closer to an insult then a greatful act.

Have you ever heard of this problem before? What do you think?