If I could be openly pedophilic (Expressing pedophilia without pederasty or in layterms no children would be involved, only a declaration of identity, not a declaration of acts) I wouldn't have so much anxiety. I try to tell my Mom (She knows) how this is how gays felt when they could get lynched for being found out, and she just doesn't get it. All the "normal" guys get to walk around all confident that NO ONE knows they lust for 14yo chests, but if they were not NPCs they would have the brain of a philosopher (like I do) and they would think about these things seriously to their end point and they would get anxious, and enraged, and they would want the cultism to STOP!!!!