The Babylon Bee @babylonbee@gameliberty.club

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As preparations continued for this weekend's celebration, President Trump expressed disappointment that tomorrow's army parade would not include…

WORLD — With the outbreak of open hostilities between the two long-running enemy countries, the global community condemned Israel for launching devastating airstrikes…

LOS ANGELES, CA — Democracy itself came under attack once again today, as a Democrat senator was arrested after assaulting law enforcement officers in what appeared…

BOULDER, CO — Sources closest to 40-year-old Jay Brennan reported that the local dad was physically unable to drive by cows without saying, "Hey, kids, look — cows."

VATICAN CITY — Exercising his authority as Supreme Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church, newly-elected Pope Leo XIV pronounced another 100-year curse on the Chicago…

DENVER, CO — Local old man George Hibbert wistfully recalled the 1970s fondly and expressed wishes that everything could go back to being the ashtray-smelling, brownish-mustard…

LOS ANGELES, CA — In defense against the mounting criticism from across the country over his response to violent anti-ICE riots, California Governor Gavin Newsom…

U.S. — CNN reported another peaceful night in Los Angeles, as the overwhelming majority of cars in the city were not currently on fire.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what experts immediately hailed as a genius move to combine necessary crowd control with settling a viral social media debate, President Donald…

SANTA MONICA, CA — In a beautiful, tear-jerking moment, President Trump and Elon Musk were reunited on the shores of Santa Monica, jumping and laughing in each other's…

ST. PAUL, MN — Tragically, a perfectly good meme was spoiled earlier today by an entirely avoidable typo.

The temperatures are rising, and you know what that means: riot season is here! Before you go out for a nice evening of looting with the boys, be sure to follow…

WORLD — During an international flight from Tel Aviv to Paris a crying baby was seen complaining to a flight attendant about being seated next to professional activist…

LOS ANGELES — According to sources, an autonomous Waymo car achieved sentience at the worst possible time, just moments before being set on fire with a Molotov cocktail.

SACRAMENTO, CA — After getting his head hopelessly stuck in a banister this morning, an outraged Governor Gavin Newsom demanded to know why Trump would do this.

THE HIGH SEAS — In a saddening, tragic turn of events, famed climate activist Greta Thunberg has been kidnapped by the Dread Pirate Roberts.

LOS ANGELES, CA — Embattled law enforcement officers trying to keep violent protesters at bay now have to wait even longer for help, as news broke that U.S. Marine…

LOS ANGELES — As immigration riots spread across the city, local rioter and ruffian Eduardo Perez expressed regret that he could not find any houses to burn down…